This is my application essay for UM.
I am not fluent with english and i want my essay as native as possible.
I didn't finish my conclusion part yet. Can you guys please give me some advice and revision for my essay?
I recently realized that I have a partiality for my right feet. My always-have-been-patient left feet was wounded, hurt, and eventually, strained. When it became impossible to move, it declared of its repose, not to work at least 2 months. Covered with white bandage, my left feet seemed somewhat intimidating. It was something I have never expected. My left feet's unexpected behavior was rude and made me angry.
I spent a lot of time with my right and left feet as to start the day with morning jogging. In retrospect, even when I wore shoes, leaped over muddy water, walked down the stairs, stretched to be more flexible, it is irrefutable fact that my right feet was in priority. When the right feet saw the left feet's dissatisfaction, it shouted with anger. "Hey, left feet! There is responsibility for you as left feet just as things that only I can do. Things became natural as instinct by learning. Not that I'm enjoying rightful benefits, there are responsibilities for each of us. Do not plea for your weakness but try to have an open-minded thinking for faithful to your own responsibility." Even though the accident was caused by non-nimble right feet, it didn't seem to feel guilty.
Although there was a sense of arrogance with the right feet's assured utterance, I was furtively thrilled, for the right feet was backing me up. But, is the right feet correct? Rather than scapegoating for bovine left feet, it seemed like we needed conciliation and compromise. Thinking out of box is necessary, though, there would be no great difference even if their roles were switched. It would only bring a sense of difference caused by failing to collect their opinions from lack of regard.
That's right. My left and right feet aren't separate individuals, but co-workers. In that case, at last, can be called concomitance. When individuals appreciate, regard, and work together with intimacy, there can be a true meaning of allotted task and parity.
I am not fluent with english and i want my essay as native as possible.
I didn't finish my conclusion part yet. Can you guys please give me some advice and revision for my essay?
I recently realized that I have a partiality for my right feet. My always-have-been-patient left feet was wounded, hurt, and eventually, strained. When it became impossible to move, it declared of its repose, not to work at least 2 months. Covered with white bandage, my left feet seemed somewhat intimidating. It was something I have never expected. My left feet's unexpected behavior was rude and made me angry.
I spent a lot of time with my right and left feet as to start the day with morning jogging. In retrospect, even when I wore shoes, leaped over muddy water, walked down the stairs, stretched to be more flexible, it is irrefutable fact that my right feet was in priority. When the right feet saw the left feet's dissatisfaction, it shouted with anger. "Hey, left feet! There is responsibility for you as left feet just as things that only I can do. Things became natural as instinct by learning. Not that I'm enjoying rightful benefits, there are responsibilities for each of us. Do not plea for your weakness but try to have an open-minded thinking for faithful to your own responsibility." Even though the accident was caused by non-nimble right feet, it didn't seem to feel guilty.
Although there was a sense of arrogance with the right feet's assured utterance, I was furtively thrilled, for the right feet was backing me up. But, is the right feet correct? Rather than scapegoating for bovine left feet, it seemed like we needed conciliation and compromise. Thinking out of box is necessary, though, there would be no great difference even if their roles were switched. It would only bring a sense of difference caused by failing to collect their opinions from lack of regard.
That's right. My left and right feet aren't separate individuals, but co-workers. In that case, at last, can be called concomitance. When individuals appreciate, regard, and work together with intimacy, there can be a true meaning of allotted task and parity.