Lehigh supplement essay - I will contribute to the campus greatly.

I was hoping someone could help me with my supplement essay fro Lehigh. The essay i have written is a little longer than the limit and i need some help making it shorter. Also, could someone tell me if what i chose to write about is too specific. My essay is mainly about one specific example and i don't know if maybe it should be more general. Anyway here's the prompt and my essay:

As you researched and visited colleges and universities, why did you decide to apply to Lehigh? Please give specific reasons. What contributions will you make during your time at Lehigh?

When looking at colleges, I decided to apply to Lehigh because of its reputation. A good example of how great the reputation of Lehigh is and one of the events that lured me to Lehigh happened when my statistics class went on a field trip to visit Gaming Labs International. One of the owners of the business, James R. Maida, mentioned that when they need people who are good in math, they recruit from Lehigh. I was immediately very impressed that a business as large and successful as Gaming Labs International would recruit from Lehigh and thought that if a corporation like Gaming Labs International would recruit from Lehigh, other corporations will probably be more likely to hire someone who attended Lehigh also. Attending a college with a great reputation such as Lehigh will certainly give me an advantage in the competitive job market.

While attending Lehigh, I will contribute to the campus greatly. Lehigh has so much to offer and I hope to take full advantage of everything. Being fairly local to Lehigh, I can help people from afar adapt to the area and comfort others who are not as comfortable in this new environment.

Feel free to tell me i need to totally change my essay if you feel I need to!
Thanks for the Help!

yeah good job
but i have feedback to give you
first i liked you r writing the reason why u choose. that was the reputation and u had believed that u can contribute on specific thngs . nut u have to add your ability or skills. cuz its a little non sense to looke for only to the reputation. so pls add it. i mean u have to write like i've capable of .... or i was honored as a.... So let me to prove my goals there in your college or university

i've written those feedback . because i only thnk that this essay must be about yourself almost

okay good luck!

Well, the first thing i notice in your essay is that it does not specifically explain why Lehigh is for you.

You say that you like Lehigh becuase the math thing and blah, but the main focus should be something like what you like about it and how this school fits you and how you would be more successful in this school than others.

Try to write more about the latter 2 points and I think your essay would be golden