Lehigh Supplement Essay -- Igloo Architecture?

Worried that my essay is not serious enough.

Prompt is: What do you and Lehigh have in common?

Igloo Architecture

I can tell that it's snowing by the way light reflects through my half-opened blinds and spills onto my bedroom ceiling. Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I tumble out of bed and stumble towards my window. Fumbling with the blinds, I peek through to see if my intuition is correct. I have to bite my lip to contain the giggle rising up in my chest. Snowflakes swirl through the streets and cover my front yard in a smooth blanket. Invigorated with my discovery, I race to pull on my winter clothes. Fully dressed, I gallop down the stairs and burst out into the white sunlight, a huge smile stretched across my face. Just like Lehigh, I can't wait to be covered with snow.

Just like Lehigh, I'm passionate about so many activities, and I can't wait to discover other passions at Lehigh. Construction is one of the passion I've discovered, whether it be by constructing model rockets, creating experimental groups in Biology, or building doll houses out of plywood. However, my favorite activity is building igloos. I've noticed that Lehigh also has a active igloo scene. One of the igloos built by Lehigh students even had lights installed! Now, that's creative designing that I aspire to achieve in the next four years.

A well-structured igloo cannot be built without a solid foundation. Igloos, like many talents in life, need to be built from the bottom up. Gaining experience can be frustrating, because it's not fun to be bad. Sometimes, when I'm practicing a new clarinet solo, or trying to master a new math concept, I become irritated with my lack of ability. However, the only path forward is through work, and failure must be treated as another opportunity to learn, a way of thinking that Lehigh accepts with open arms. When igloos cave in, I just build them back up again. Lehigh's promise to create a solid foundation through flexible undergraduate education attracts me because just like with igloos, sometimes you have to use pieces from the past to build a future you didn't expect.

Gari, this essay is best suited for a prompt about your academic pursuits at Lehigh or maybe something related to a personal statement. This is not the proper essay for the commonalities prompt. The statement that you wrote cannot be used for the purpose you hoped to have developed it for.

When you discuss the things you have in common with the university, you need to look into the background of the school. In the case of Lehigh, try to discover things beyond the academic that you share in common. Perhaps you have some common ideologies, belief systems, or cultural similarities that will explain to the reviewer why you chose to opt for acceptance to Lehigh over other universities. Try to find something along the lines of how the student community functions and why that is something that you are already used to. Maybe there is a club in the university that would act as a continuation of your own extra curricular activity in high school. The main point being, that you show the reviewer how or why you would be comfortable as a student there because of the sense of "home" brought about by common factors.

I'm doing my best not to create a cookie cutter essay, but perhaps I landed a bit too far left field. I will take your advice to heart.

Is there a word limit to this essay? And commonalities essays are usually straightforward, providing as much factual information as possible. They are like a two-bladed knife really: by providing a well-researched essay about the school, they can see that you are really interested in them (schools love students that demonstrate interest in them), also, during that process of researching, you can see whether you are a good fit for them, thus you may reconsider your choice. So if you are, try to bring out similarities, but avoid being generic. Be specific as to how certain features attract you. For example, you can write about, say, the Rivalry matches, which resemble some athletic events back in your home town that you like. I'm applying for Lafayette this year, so we might meet each other there. Best of luck!

Gari, for a commonality essay, you successfully managed to eradicate any similarities that may exist between you and the university. Yes, the response is cookie cutter, but the presentation can be unique. The commonalities essay is not the place where you need to be entirely creative in your presentation. That is why your writing tends to stray from the prompt assignment. The response that you currently have, and I must congratulate you on this, is better suited to the "Why Lehigh?" prompt instead. It is highly creative and shows a clear understanding of the background of the university in relation to your academic interests.

For the commonalities prompt, I suggest that you look at the work in progress that Mualla wrote in this forum. She has the perfect idea of how to best respond to the prompt without falling into the cookie cutter trap. With proper development, she is going to have a killer response. You could follow in her footsteps if you wish to.

@Holt

Thank you, currently I am replacing my second and third paragraph. Unfortunately, "why Lehigh," is not a prompt anymore.