Lehigh Supplement Question- Why Lehigh? and Define Equity and Community?

I would appreciate if you guys could take a look at my answer to the two short answer questions and give me some advice. I think that I need to shorten both of the responses and am not sure if I completely answer both questions. Any comments are appreciated, thanks.

1.As you researched and visited colleges and universities, why did you decide to apply to Lehigh? Please give specific reasons. What contributions will you make during your time at Lehigh?

2.As you researched and visited colleges and universities, why did you decide to apply to Lehigh? Please give specific reasons. What contributions will you make during your time at Lehigh?

1. Apart from the perfect size, Division I athletics, numerous intramurals, and beautiful campus there was one thing that made me realize Lehigh not only met but exceeded all of my expectations. It was what I like the call the " intangible factor." Last year before I started researching and visiting colleges I turned to the upperclassman for advice. I had no idea how I would be able to narrow down a list of schools I wanted to apply to never mind selecting only one of these universities to attend. My mind was boggled, on paper what made Lehigh any different then Lafayette. This was until one person told me that I would just know, that when I stepped onto the campus I would feel that it was the right place for me. I was hoping that this statement held true for me but after my first few visits to colleges like Rutgers and Delaware I did not feel this magic connection. I was starting to loose faith until I visited Lehigh. When I went on the campus tour I was in love and in awe. I knew I would not only fit in but also thrive in this environment. After our visit to Lehigh we went to Lafayette and I would not even get out of the car. I now knew about that "intangible factor" and had acquired that complacent feeling that cannot be put into words.

While at Lehigh I plan to not only contribute academically but socially as well. I look forward to being part of the rich Greek life and have set my sights on winning the Universities Student Life Leadership award. In my high school I am comfortable talking to any student or teacher. I feel that I am someone most of my fellow students can turn to for advice and someone who the underclassmen look up to. At Lehigh I plan to continue with this same mentality and will aspire to make the community more comfortable and interwoven by setting a precedent for other students.

2. In today's society equity and community share a direct relationship. A community is a group of individuals who have a common goal or interest while equity is the power that each individual holds in the community. Therefore if each person within a community receives the same opportunity to succeed then the community will be stronger. Furthermore the passion and devotion that one has for their community will in turn make said community stronger. I find Lehigh University to be the perfect example of the combination these two elements in the 21st century.

One day I was talking with a few family friends I mentioned that I had an interest in Lehigh University. They went on to tell me a story about their son, who is a student at Lehigh. He went to watch a local soccer game and wore a Lehigh sweatshirt to the game. As he was watching the game a stranger approached him and asked if he attended Lehigh. When he told him that he was a current student the man explained that he was an alumni. The alumnus was so grateful to stumble upon a fellow member of the Lehigh community that he conversed with the student for a good hour and by the end of the conversation offered him an internship at his company.

To me this example this is the epitome of a successful community. The fact that even after graduation alumni still play a vital role in the Lehigh community shows that it is like a close knit family. With such devoted alumni and acclaimed professors every student at Lehigh will receive a fair opportunity. If the students are able to take advantage of what is offered to them they will contribute to the community, providing more opportunities for future members of the community, and will therefore continue to make the community stronger. Lehigh University exemplifies the prosperity that is achieved when equity and community work hand in hand in our society.

for your first question,i believe it is a well thought out and well expressed answer.But you should probably look up for more communities and activities that attracted you to lehigh and elaborate some of them as it then gives a good impression of your research of the university and your willingness to join it.

Even I am writing this essay so you can probably check mine and we can both help each other.

for your second question
One day I was talking withto a few family friends when I mentioned that I had an interest in Lehigh University

.They told me that he onceHe went to watch a local soccer game and wore a Lehigh sweatshirt to the game.
As he was watching the game a stranger approached him and asked if weather he attended Lehigh

Do you think that my second response adequately answers the question?

It is a good response.However if you want to target your response towards the University itself then go to its website and see its home page for Council of Equity and Community and get some ideas from their about how these both are viewed by Lehigh.You can also check my essay on equity and community

a comma is necessary so that this sentence will not be confusing:
Apart from the perfect size, Division I athletics, numerous intramurals, and beautiful campus , there was one thing that made me realize that Lehigh not only met but exceeded all of my expectations (and I think it is too much to say it not only met but also exceeded... you are not writing about whether expectations are met.)

What you are writing about is a great application of intuition. I really like this approach.

Still, I think you need to reinforce it. After saying that your intuition (intangible factor) drew you to choose the school, you can say your intuition was proven correct, because professor so-and-so seems to be someone who has interests very similar you your own. And now you have started to really get excited about having her as your mentor, because you are determined to contribute to the field of __________.


You accidentally wrote the same question twice, so i don't know! What was the question for that second one?

Oh wow sorry I did not notice that. The question was:

In our ever-changing society, people have defined 'equity' and 'community' in many different ways. How do you define these terms and what are the implications of equity and community for our 21st century society?

Furthermore the passion and devotion that one has for their community will in turn make said community stronger. ---> I think people don't normally use the word "said" this way... only in legal documents! So, it is unnatural.

And right after that sentence, you segue somewhat ungracefully into talking about the school. I guess I think you should talk about Leheigh in a separate paragraph.

Yes, it sure does answer the prompt quite well!