1. The Grotto is a cherished destination on Notre Dame's campus, a space that invites students and visitors to pray and take time for reflection. Do you have a place that you seek out, and what do you contemplate there?
It's Six A.M. and the spatter of hot water shakes me from my sluggish haze. As I regain my lucidity, I begin to sort out the day's events: A lesson at 10, Orchestra at Twelve, Chamber at three, and those dreaded college apps tonight. My daily morning shower is a chance for me to purify my body, mind, and soul. As I wash away the dirt, and toils of the previous day, I pray for patience and guidance for the day ahead. I thank god for my family, school, and all the opportunities I have been blessed with. I reflect on myself, thinking of how I can improve as a person, student, and musician. I remember the extra chord I played at the end of Dvorak 8 in rehearsal, and the mistake on that chemistry test, but remind myself that today is a new day, a fresh start.
The ending is nice. Is there a reason you capitalize s in six?
shouldn't you capitalize God.
glad you shower daily- haha
reflect on myself sounds kind of weird maybe reflect on a specific aspect of yourself or maybe something in your past or maybe on the previous day. I don't know that change is up to you.
It is slightly repetitive to say I reflect on myself, thinking... cut out thinking and maybe say I reflect on myself, on how I can improve miself as a person, as a student ans as a musician.
Also just so you know you started all of your last three sentences with I.
Thanks for reading my essay and good luck to your as well, who knows maybe we will see each other next fall.
I like this
I don't think contractions should be used, at least I was advised against it so I would say: it is six
For some reason I don't like the words spatter though maybe trickle
My morning shower provides me with a chance to purify my body, mind, and soul. Therefore, as the dirt swirls down the drain so does the toils of the previous day.
maybe not reflect on yourself so much as reflect on you actions, thinking of how you can improve as a person...
I don't know just a few suggestions
Great job, I'm still stuck on this one but please read my other essay about the small detail I wish others would notice.
Thanks
Tell us about a time when you have surprised others or yourself by doing something unexpected.
There is a man that lives on the corner of Irving Park Rd and Kilpatrick Ave. Every Christmas, I can't help but think of this man. He has lived there for long as I can remember, and every year I ask my Aunt about him, wishing to gain some insight into his mysterious past. My question is quickly repressed, and I reluctantly rejoin the mundane chatter of the family. But this year, I would no longer ignore my itching thought. As we sat around the large table, overflowing with food and drink, I once again brought up the man near Six Corners. Again, I was discouraged, but this time something inside me clicked. I felt hurt, how could someone tune out the less fortunate on Christmas? At once, I left my plate of food to fix the man a meal. As my older cousin and I drove to the bus stop, I was nervous. Sure enough, huddled by his lonesome wrapped in blankets was the man, shivering in the dark cubicle. As I approached with the food and two liter of Coke, he looked up at me, and I said, "This is for you, Merry Christmas." I will never forget his bright blue eyes, as he peered back at me, bewildered, and said "God bless you."
im really stuck on this..im 66 words over =/
ya i really didn't want to use the shower as the topic...but i already talked about music in 2 other essays... and its due tomorrow haha..
It is six A.M. and the trickle of hot water shakes me from my sluggish haze. As I regain my lucidity, I begin to sort out the day's events: A lesson at 10, Orchestra at Twelve, Chamber at three, and those dreaded college apps tonight. My morning shower is a chance to purify my body, mind, and soul. As I wash away the dirt and toils of the previous day, I pray for patience and guidance for the day ahead. I thank God for my family, school, and all the opportunities I have been blessed with. I reflect on my actions, hoping to improve as a person, student, and musician. I remember the extra chord I played at the end of Dvorak 8 in rehearsal, and the mistake on that chemistry test, but remind myself that today is a new day, a fresh start.
i gotta change the I's at the beginning of the sentences... i dont like the structure or flow right now. this is the other one
Tell us about a time when you have surprised others or yourself by doing something unexpected.
There is a man that lives on the corner of Irving Park Rd and Kilpatrick Ave. Every Christmas, I can't help but think of this man. He has lived there for long as I can remember, and every year I ask my Aunt about him, wishing to gain some insight into his mysterious past. My question is quickly repressed, and I reluctantly rejoin the mundane chatter of the family. But this year, I would no longer ignore my itching thought. As we sat around the large table, overflowing with food and drink, I once again brought up the man near Six Corners. Again, I was discouraged, but this time something inside me clicked. I felt hurt, how could someone tune out the less fortunate on Christmas? At once, I left my plate of food to fix the man a meal. As my older cousin and I drove to the bus stop, I was nervous. Sure enough, huddled by his lonesome wrapped in blankets was the man, shivering in the dark cubicle. As I approached with the food and two liter of Coke, he looked up at me, and I said, "This is for you, Merry Christmas." I will never forget his bright blue eyes, as he peered back at me, bewildered, and said "God bless you."
im really stuck on this..im 66 words over =/
