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'A-level over Nepal government's +2 level' - Vassar



williams01 2 / 5  
Dec 19, 2011   #1
Please! help me with everything ...grammar ,punctuation and language !!
thanxx!!

HOW DID YOU LEARN ABOUT VASSAR AND WHAT ASPECTS OF OUR COLLEGE DO YOU FIND APPEALING?
I chose to study A-level over Nepal government's +2 level courses because I wanted to study both physics and economics, which +2 curriculum restricted. Even for my higher education, I was in search of a college where I could get liberal but rigorous education. As an international student, I also needed a community where I could fit so that I could excel academically. In this search for an institution, I engaged myself in extensive internet research about liberal arts colleges and this is how I learned about Vassar. Vassar had most of the things that I wanted academically as well as personally. In addition to being attracted to the closely-knit community at Vassar, I also love how Vassar respects independence of thought.

When I watched the video on 'What is a must class at Vassar?', I was fascinated by the names of the courses and also mesmerized by the available range of courses. I assumed myself as a Vassar student and started imagining what I could study at Vassar for my academic fulfillment. Along with pursuing the disciplines I was much interested in; I could also discover my potential interests among the courses offered at Vassar. Academic internship on one-to-one basis with the faculty mentors was another very attractive opportunity. Through my site research, I also got familiar to the various equipment resources and opportunities of internship at national laboratories available to a physics student at Vassar. Professionally, I want to be an engineer. Therefore, I was particularly appealed by 'The Vassar-Dartmouth dual degree program in Engineering.' Then, I saw a video where students were using pads to take notes and learn more in their field study. As I imagined myself working with professors at the physics laboratory with latest technology, my desire to attend Vassar got boosted.

After I took the virtual tour of Vassar and got a glimpse of Vassar through the pictures on Vassar's site, I became sure I could easily spend four years of my life at such beautiful campus. Houses like home and kitchen menu decided by the students themselves seemed exciting. Since, students are deemed to be the architects of life at Vassar I thought of the extent to which I could contribute to life at campus. I could not think of any dissatisfaction and hence, there would be very less matters to complain about. Life would be free at Vassar in every way.

A lot of things about Vassar appeal to me. If given a chance, I know at Vassar I can grow intellectually and emotionally plus get a wonderful college experience.

CaitlinLea 1 / 2  
Dec 19, 2011   #2
punctuation: "Along with pursuing the disciplines I was much interested in(, instead of ;) I could..."
"Since(remove ,) students are deemed"

Also you say "I thought of the extent to which I could contribute to life at campus" but never really discuss any of it; i dont know if there is a separate essay or anything on that topic, but maybe discussing that would be helpful even if its just a sentence? maybe not, it could be too overwhelming since it doesnt directly address the topic but its a suggestion haha
OP williams01 2 / 5  
Dec 20, 2011   #3
Thank you !I ll try to work on that...
dhanu12 2 / 7  
Dec 20, 2011   #4
I think you should focus more on how you think that having liberal-arts education can prepare you as an individual. You have established that you would be more "free". I think you should speak more bout how do you think your life will be more "free".


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