"Life full of hardships to make me mature" - Hawaii Pacific Personal Statement

My life growing up has never been easy for me; it was full of hardships that helped me mature as a person. When I was 3 years old my mother contracted breast cancer and things began to change in my life. As years passed my mom started becoming weaker and weaker and I was seeing it in person. We were told that she was recovering quite well, and the surgeons thought that the tumor had been completely removed. I was at a friend's house during a summer and we got a call that I needed to be home straight away. I knew something had happened to my mom. I was rushed back to my house to find my grandfather, with his head buried in his hands, sitting on the step. I rushed over and the words he cried to me changed my life... "Julie has died Alex..." unable to believe the words I rushed into the house to see my family sitting down around the bed dripping with tears. The tumor that was thought to of been removed had grown back even stronger than before, strong enough that she couldn't fight back.

I was only 6 and I was suffering from serious depression. I suffered endless nightmares for 4 years of my life and I let my anger problems get the best of me. I never told my family about any of this at the time, because I didn't want to cause any more upset. As young as I was, I never thought my life would be the way it once was. To be honest I was completely terrified. I knew my mom was protecting me some way, a way I could not explain. I believed she was there and would help me keep moving on. This fueled my drive in life and it's a drive I still attain. She always told me to strive to be the best I could be academically and also physically and mentally. It has made me strong willed, and keen to learn. She taught me everything I know whether it was how to paint silk or how to kick a soccer ball. Losing my mother was a setback in my life for me at the time.

I was seriously depressed till the age of ten and by this time I was already in a new place. I moved to San Diego and was living in a brand new house. I was attending counseling for depression and also anger management. I met new friends who changed my life more than ever, friends who I was able to express myself too, friends who would listen to me. My depression was slowly going away and my life was slowly getting better. Ten years have passed since I moved to San Diego and I'm progressively getting better as the years go by. I look at who I am today and I am grateful for what I have: a family who cares, and a life I have yet to explore. I try to consider myself an average guy trying to live to enjoy life day by day. I am thankful to be standing here right now, knowing I have people behind me every step of the way.

People have always told me "never let people control you, and tell you what you can and cannot do; if you put your mind to something you will reach your goal". I believed I could be as happy as I once was and I never gave up my faith in it. I look back and I am proud of myself for not giving up. I am a content man with many interests in life and eager to explore the world Walter Bagehot, a famous British Analyst, once said, "The pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do". It's a code I will always live by and one I try and show others.... [STUCK HERE as well I don't know what else to add any suggestions?]

Hi,

I wish you give some more life to the first para. You have a very inspiring story which can be built into a great theme.My life growing up has never been easy for me------------This sentence sounds a bit queer, especially the part in red;

My life growing upchildhood has never been easy one for me

When I was 3three years old my mother contractedhad a breast cancer and things began to change in my life.------ it's better to use words in essays rather than numbers. Also, in my view, cancer is not a sickness that someone can contract or catch such as influenza or flu. Instead, cancer means growth of dangerous cells inside one's body.

As years passed my mom'shealth became more and more deterioratedstarted becoming weakerand weaker and I was seeing it in personhappened to grow up watching her endless struggle and pain .

This is very impressive. I hope you find time to read a book by Victor Frankl called Man's Search for Meaning.

I admire you for your strength and writing ability.


Yes, at the beginning and end of this essay you have to add a sentence about your aspiration. Even if you are not sure of a career path, you still should express one aspiration that the reader will remember you by.

:-)

BearMillz:
For my poor ability in writting, I could not give any suggestions but good luck to you!

The tumor that was thought to of< have been removed had grown back even stronger than before, strong enough that she couldn't fight back.

I believed she was there and would help me to keep moving on. T

I was seriously depressed till the age of ten and by this time I was already in a new place. < You sort of already said this in the previous paragraph.

I met new friends who changed my life more than ever, friends who I was able to express myself tooto , friends who would listen to me.

I am a content man with many interests in life and eager to explore the world. Walter Bagehot, a famous British Analyst, once said, "The pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do". It's a code I will always live by and one I try and show others.... [STUCK HERE as well I don't know what else to add any suggestions?]

* I guess you can talk about how your experience makes you good for the school you're applying to. That would be a good way to tie everything up.

Does anyone care to take a look at my Cornell Supplement???