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'life goals'; my goal of becoming a cardiac surgeon became a must



lac 1 / -  
Nov 12, 2012   #1
Topic= what is one of your main goals in life ?

People have many ambitions in life - some want to be famous, some want to invent, however my life goals are a bit different. My goal in life is to become a cardiac surgeon. Since a very young age my mom has always told me "I want you to become a doctor". Though her high aspiration for me have motivated me to work hard in school, her words alone have not been the only reasons I have become interested in the medical field. When I was In the third grade my uncle started medical school, and all I asked him was what he had learned in school, really young I became interested in the human body this fascinated my young mind and on how it worked so I always tried to get him to teach me something. Unfortunately My uncle couldn't make it trough medical school because he said it was too hard, because my uncle was such a stray role model for me I thought I wasn't going to make it as well so I changed my dream as well.

But then It al started back in freshmen year when my grandpa started to have problems with his heart. He has already been diagnosed with heart problems before but this is when it really started to get bad. It got so bad that my sophomore year would be the last time I got visit him in Puerto Rico, this was the last time I got to see him alive. Not long after my visit in Puerto Rico my grandpa had to get an open heart surgery and this is when he died. When I heard this is when my goal of becoming a cardiac surgeon became a must. At time I was mad at my self that they where families members mines dying and I couldn't do anything about it.

Having this goal in mind has pushed me to do my best trough my sophomore, junior, and now senior years of high school. Right from the beginning I knew to accomplish this goal I was going to have to work hard in school

As a freshmen I cant picture in my mind working so hard for better grades in school, because ever since I told my goals to my parents all they say "that's going to take hard work and good school grades but you can do it". Becoming a Cardiac surgeon is not only a goal that I want to accomplish to help those close to me but also to help those who have loved ones with heart problems them selves.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 19, 2012   #2
People have many ambitions in life - some want to be famous, some want to invent, however my life goals are a bit different. My goal in life is to become a cardiac surgeon.

Well.... your first line doesn't seem to compliment the second one a lot. You have to tell how your goals are going to be different.... in my view, cardiac surgeon is not the real answer for that. Just give some thought for this point.

[

Since a very young ageI had been told by my mom has always told me "I want you to become a doctor".

--------- you need this grammar fix here

Though her high aspiration for me have motivated me to work hard in school, her words alone have notwere notbeen the only reasons why I have become interested in the medical field.

When I wasInin the third grade my uncle started a medical school, and all I asked him was what he had learned in school, really young I became interested in the human body this fascinated my young mind and on how it worked so I always tried to get him to teach me something.

I think this sentence is too long and the part in bold letters fails to convey your idea clearly.... Better re-phrase it


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