Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Dear reader,
First, I wanted to sincerely thank you for taking the time to read my personal statements.
So, after you read it, I ask if you can answer some of the following questions, to keep in mind, (if you can) and leave some feedback (good or bad, all is welcome). I appreciate it!
1. How do you feel about my essay?
2. My essay is currently around 749 words, do you think there are a few unnecessary points that should be taken out? (need to bring it to 600 lol)
3. What's your overall opinion on the essay, strengths, and weaknesses?
4. Did you fully understand and did you get a picture of who I am as an individual?
5. Do you think my career vision, and goals are necessary at the end?
I was born seventeen years ago in Giza, a city in Cairo, Egypt to an English teacher mother and a working class father. I had two siblings, an older brother and a younger sister, making me the middle child. Our mother had to quit her career in order to take care of the family when it became evident that we, her children, needed her more at home. This put pressure on my father to find a stable job. His search took him all over the Middle East so he only came home once in a while. I still remember the day that he left for Sudan. I was ten years old and felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders with my father's words; "I want you to take care of mom and your little siblings," he said to me, with a breaking voice. "Even your older brother, because you know how irresponsible he is." Staying true to my father's expectations, I did what I was told, caring for my family during the year that he was away. Upon my father's return, our lives took a different turn. He told us to pack our bags, we were moving to America. At the time, we had no idea where America was or what to expect when we got there but we were all just glad and excited for a change.
Coming to America was the positive turnaround that my parents hoped would help us thrive and succeed. However, the dream we were promised so turned into a nightmare. My family grew to a total of eleven people, including nine kids, with our father as the only breadwinner. Although he worked twice as hard and sacrificed his personal well being for our family, all his hard work was not enough. Our family was being torn apart by our financial difficulties, and home became less and less peaceful. At the age of twelve I was the family mediator. I worked by selling snacks, candy, soda, and other things to my classmates in order to help augment the family income. Once again, the family needed me to act in a capacity far beyond my actual age and abilities. Yet- somehow, I managed to deliver what was expected.
While I was being the responsible adult-child at home, my school difficulties grew. Where I was a normal student in the Middle East, I was now enrolled in enrichment programs, tutoring, and reading and math clubs. By the time I got to high school, I had transformed myself from a struggling immigrant student to a dependable and strong student who was ready to take on the most demanding classes high school offered. However, my situation at home did not change.
We were still financially strapped and I knew that I had to start working. So, I took a part time job at a nearby pizzeria. The demands of my family and the rigorous courses required me to mature quickly and envision a more stable future for myself. I took on the roll of President of my class for 2 years, and was lucky enough to be able to enroll in two college level classes during my junior high school year and Virtual Enterprise during my senior year. In VE, the student-ran business, I began to grow as the Chief of Design, in charge of the company website. From there I interned with my school to design their website and graduation program. Every step of the way, every year of my life I was being rushed into maturity, responsibility, and adulthood. Sometimes I wondered if I was truly prepared for what lay ahead of me. Ready or not, it was a chance I had to take.
Each step that I took in my life, either for personal, family, or academic reasons; I found myself applying three important traits: determination, perseverance, and hard work. Those three character traits of mine allowed me to overcome my academic challenges, family responsibilities, and gave me a reason to look towards a brighter future. Admitting and accepting my family troubles helped me learn the most about life and its demands. I know other families experience the same situation I did. These families need help. My career vision, after earning my bachelors, then my masters degree in Business Administration, is to pursue a career specializing in marketing, advertising, and finance to establish a non-profit organization that assists low-income families with free education assistance and financial consulting services.
Dear reader,
First, I wanted to sincerely thank you for taking the time to read my personal statements.
So, after you read it, I ask if you can answer some of the following questions, to keep in mind, (if you can) and leave some feedback (good or bad, all is welcome). I appreciate it!
1. How do you feel about my essay?
2. My essay is currently around 749 words, do you think there are a few unnecessary points that should be taken out? (need to bring it to 600 lol)
3. What's your overall opinion on the essay, strengths, and weaknesses?
4. Did you fully understand and did you get a picture of who I am as an individual?
5. Do you think my career vision, and goals are necessary at the end?
I was born seventeen years ago in Giza, a city in Cairo, Egypt to an English teacher mother and a working class father. I had two siblings, an older brother and a younger sister, making me the middle child. Our mother had to quit her career in order to take care of the family when it became evident that we, her children, needed her more at home. This put pressure on my father to find a stable job. His search took him all over the Middle East so he only came home once in a while. I still remember the day that he left for Sudan. I was ten years old and felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders with my father's words; "I want you to take care of mom and your little siblings," he said to me, with a breaking voice. "Even your older brother, because you know how irresponsible he is." Staying true to my father's expectations, I did what I was told, caring for my family during the year that he was away. Upon my father's return, our lives took a different turn. He told us to pack our bags, we were moving to America. At the time, we had no idea where America was or what to expect when we got there but we were all just glad and excited for a change.
Coming to America was the positive turnaround that my parents hoped would help us thrive and succeed. However, the dream we were promised so turned into a nightmare. My family grew to a total of eleven people, including nine kids, with our father as the only breadwinner. Although he worked twice as hard and sacrificed his personal well being for our family, all his hard work was not enough. Our family was being torn apart by our financial difficulties, and home became less and less peaceful. At the age of twelve I was the family mediator. I worked by selling snacks, candy, soda, and other things to my classmates in order to help augment the family income. Once again, the family needed me to act in a capacity far beyond my actual age and abilities. Yet- somehow, I managed to deliver what was expected.
While I was being the responsible adult-child at home, my school difficulties grew. Where I was a normal student in the Middle East, I was now enrolled in enrichment programs, tutoring, and reading and math clubs. By the time I got to high school, I had transformed myself from a struggling immigrant student to a dependable and strong student who was ready to take on the most demanding classes high school offered. However, my situation at home did not change.
We were still financially strapped and I knew that I had to start working. So, I took a part time job at a nearby pizzeria. The demands of my family and the rigorous courses required me to mature quickly and envision a more stable future for myself. I took on the roll of President of my class for 2 years, and was lucky enough to be able to enroll in two college level classes during my junior high school year and Virtual Enterprise during my senior year. In VE, the student-ran business, I began to grow as the Chief of Design, in charge of the company website. From there I interned with my school to design their website and graduation program. Every step of the way, every year of my life I was being rushed into maturity, responsibility, and adulthood. Sometimes I wondered if I was truly prepared for what lay ahead of me. Ready or not, it was a chance I had to take.
Each step that I took in my life, either for personal, family, or academic reasons; I found myself applying three important traits: determination, perseverance, and hard work. Those three character traits of mine allowed me to overcome my academic challenges, family responsibilities, and gave me a reason to look towards a brighter future. Admitting and accepting my family troubles helped me learn the most about life and its demands. I know other families experience the same situation I did. These families need help. My career vision, after earning my bachelors, then my masters degree in Business Administration, is to pursue a career specializing in marketing, advertising, and finance to establish a non-profit organization that assists low-income families with free education assistance and financial consulting services.