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Life in Poverty - Personal statement for BBA GKS.

Syra 1 / -  
Jun 26, 2021   #1

Motivations with which you apply for this program

After spending 18 years of my life in poverty,I came to know about the fact that how much important money is to protect myself, to build myself, and give my family better life, and to give back to my community.After graduating from high school, I decided to choose a major that would greatly benefit me in the future. My keen interest in business is as result of my involvement in helping my father in farming. My father is doing a Business on very small scale, he is a farmer and he works in fields and earn money by selling vegetables.As i also did farming for 13 years with my father so i also know the basics rules of business. My father is not earning alot by selling vegetables and dry fruits. The money earned by selling vegetables is not even sufficient to fulfill our basic requirements. We have gone through a lot of financial problems and we have suffered a lot. At that moment, my father became my greatest motivation because my father has become supportive and encouraged me when i faced hurdles.I have seen a lot of people around me who are doing very well in Business and living a luxurious life.Now i also want to give my family a better life than before, I don't want to see them in any more trouble."The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today" said by Franklin Roosevelt inspires my thinking and decisions in life. I strongly believe that keeping a positive mental attitude and passion towards any goals, opens up many possibilities. I want to be a Business woman and make my name in the Business world.It is my hope to be involved in the recent revolution of the Business world that seeks to empower women, especially in rural areas.Having the opportunity to study in Korea and this major will be life changing.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,648 4752  
Jun 27, 2021   #2
There is too much focus on the family background and parental information. The essay limits its personal motivation in tums of personal ambition because of there improper focus points. These explanations fail to provide relevant and appropriate motivation reasons for wishing to study in Korea. Since this is for an undergraduate application under the GKS program, this presentation is also incomplete. That is perhaps why the motivation does not read as a complete and relevant presentation.

This type of essay can only be properly reviewed and/or edited when it is completely drafted already. Right now, the essay in relation to motivations with which the student applies to the program needs to be revised, lbased on a completed essay that can be properly assessed based on prompt requirements.

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