Can Someone help me edit this? There's probably a lot of grammar mistakes. Feel Free to Give me any suggestions...etc. thanks.
UC Prompt 1:
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Once upon a time, there was a girl. Her life was just a live puppet show. I was the puppet of the show. Like a mindless puppet, my parents manipulated the strings of mine. Growing up in a strict, traditional, yet affectionate and compassionate Chinese family, my parents emphasized what they want me to become, how I should behave, and what history runs through my blood. My parents never considered that my dreams and goals like studying business were realistic. The endless string pulling has shown me I am the person who can accomplish their wish of living a better life without struggling for stability. For seventeen years, I followed and valued every actions and choices that they gave me, but pinches of fairy dusts are sprinkle upon my head. I am the puppet who is coming to life with my own inspirations and dreams to follow.
My parents' struggle to create better lives for my siblings and me has stricken my childhood. Regulations were set; from going home right after school to limiting friends to girls. Thus, they have always criticized the actions I took in order to protect me from following the wrong influences. One tug on the strings will stop and guide me toward the direction that they saw was the best for me. Their expectations grew as I grew older. It was not simple obedience or good grades anymore, but attending the best university and pursuing the most prestigious career. They only saw what they think is right for me and barely consider if it is my desire to pursue it with passion. Mindlessly trying to live up to their expecations, I felt that I needed to cut the strings and break free. I realize that I am the only person who can determine the destiny of my life. With that in my mind, the pinches of fairy dusts bought me to life when I first discovered my passion for business through learning the art of spending and saving from my parents.
My parents' career preferences lean towards on doctor, nurse, pharmacist, and lawyer, yet, my inimitable career goal is to enter the business world as tax attorney. My parents disagree that I should studying business and simply thought it was a joke and waste of time. For me it was a burning desire. Their disagreement gave me confidence in showing how serious I am and how much I wanted to pursue a career in business. Passion became inevitable when my parents taught me the arts of saving and spending; a place where saving is not optional but an essential. This also led to my joining of Academy of Finance to acquired more knowledge of the business world. Being in the academy not only allow me to explore different business fields, I got the opportunity to experiences certain business fields through internships and volunteer services. I remember one of the most memorable opportunities that gave me confidence that I was choosing the right career was when I volunteered for Burton's Tax office. Not only was I able to relate and communicate with the clients there, I was able to use my finance and accounting skills to help them save money. By helping them save money, I have created smiles on their faces. Even if it means spending hours learning about personal finance or working on the computers preparing tax returns, I would never trade in this experience of making others smile.
As I enter the world as a young adult, my string-bounded life is no more since now all the choices and decisions I will make will be my own and comes from the bottom of my heart. My independence will also allow me to explore and see the world in different aspects as if I was wearing a new pair of shades each day
UC Prompt 1:
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Once upon a time, there was a girl. Her life was just a live puppet show. I was the puppet of the show. Like a mindless puppet, my parents manipulated the strings of mine. Growing up in a strict, traditional, yet affectionate and compassionate Chinese family, my parents emphasized what they want me to become, how I should behave, and what history runs through my blood. My parents never considered that my dreams and goals like studying business were realistic. The endless string pulling has shown me I am the person who can accomplish their wish of living a better life without struggling for stability. For seventeen years, I followed and valued every actions and choices that they gave me, but pinches of fairy dusts are sprinkle upon my head. I am the puppet who is coming to life with my own inspirations and dreams to follow.
My parents' struggle to create better lives for my siblings and me has stricken my childhood. Regulations were set; from going home right after school to limiting friends to girls. Thus, they have always criticized the actions I took in order to protect me from following the wrong influences. One tug on the strings will stop and guide me toward the direction that they saw was the best for me. Their expectations grew as I grew older. It was not simple obedience or good grades anymore, but attending the best university and pursuing the most prestigious career. They only saw what they think is right for me and barely consider if it is my desire to pursue it with passion. Mindlessly trying to live up to their expecations, I felt that I needed to cut the strings and break free. I realize that I am the only person who can determine the destiny of my life. With that in my mind, the pinches of fairy dusts bought me to life when I first discovered my passion for business through learning the art of spending and saving from my parents.
My parents' career preferences lean towards on doctor, nurse, pharmacist, and lawyer, yet, my inimitable career goal is to enter the business world as tax attorney. My parents disagree that I should studying business and simply thought it was a joke and waste of time. For me it was a burning desire. Their disagreement gave me confidence in showing how serious I am and how much I wanted to pursue a career in business. Passion became inevitable when my parents taught me the arts of saving and spending; a place where saving is not optional but an essential. This also led to my joining of Academy of Finance to acquired more knowledge of the business world. Being in the academy not only allow me to explore different business fields, I got the opportunity to experiences certain business fields through internships and volunteer services. I remember one of the most memorable opportunities that gave me confidence that I was choosing the right career was when I volunteered for Burton's Tax office. Not only was I able to relate and communicate with the clients there, I was able to use my finance and accounting skills to help them save money. By helping them save money, I have created smiles on their faces. Even if it means spending hours learning about personal finance or working on the computers preparing tax returns, I would never trade in this experience of making others smile.
As I enter the world as a young adult, my string-bounded life is no more since now all the choices and decisions I will make will be my own and comes from the bottom of my heart. My independence will also allow me to explore and see the world in different aspects as if I was wearing a new pair of shades each day