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Lifelong reward career; Nurse Practitioner program

latinarn 1 / 1  
Aug 8, 2013   #1
Caring for people, helping people with any needs and being able to make a difference in their lives has always meant the world to me since I can remember. I have been involved in the medical field for over 25 years. I started working as a volunteer aid, then Certified Nurses Aid then as an Emergency room technician until I was able to obtain my nursing degree. I volunteered as an EMT for our local fire department which was incredibly rewarding as well.

Being a nurse is a passion of mine, helping patients is a part of my life, and healthcare is as important to me as my family is. I love being a nurse, I love my family and I have found Iowa to be a state that contains communities that are extremely family oriented. Some these small towns have meat packing industries were many of their workers have come from different countries one of them is Mexico. My family is originally from Peru so I am fluent in Spanish so I would volunteer to help them by taking them to doctor appointments or just to try to be there for any other special needs. I was working one night while I was working in the ER when a young Spanish man came in by ambulance because he was injured after riding on the back of the truck fell off and had been run over. I was one of the nurses trying to help him and I am the only nurse that speaks Spanish so I had to be the medical professional to tell the family about their son and his injuries it was one of the hardest thing I had to do. I cried with them, I felt their pain and I spent hours with them. I would come in on my days off to see them and their son who would eventually lose his life. Since then we have always had a unique bond. After this tragedy, the emotions I went through and the connections I made with this family, I knew I was in the right place I was on the right career path. I always want to be the person you can count on in good times, bad times and no matter the circumstances to be compassionate, make a difference, and to do my very best.

Because it can be so difficult for the Spanish community and at times understand due to the language barrier things can get misunderstood or confusing for them. Being able to speak Spanish, my nursing knowledge is a great help to this community because this is where preventative medicine can be so helpful especially with infection, disease, extra hospital care or anything else I can do to help the community I will.

I honestly feel my nursing experiences have prepared me to start my journey as an advanced nurse practitioner. I have always been patient advocate, leader, and a diligent worker and I am also fluent in Spanish and I have used my knowledge to help our Spanish communities. Working in the healthcare I felt has always been privilege and an honor. It requires hard work, compassion, integrity and consideration to follow through with each patient. I am efficient, and confident my abilities have given me the training necessary to succeed in almost any situation. I have a strong skill set and I have achieved a management position in every job I have taken. I am someone who appreciates working out problems, is a solid leader, and someone who brings benevolence and dedication to their work.

Becoming a Nurse Practitioner through South University Family Nurse Practitioner program will help me fulfill my goals of being able to give overall care to all patients young and old. Although I know it will be challenging and intense, but I know it will be a lifelong reward career which meaningful and important to me. I feel I am ready to succeed in your program - mentally, financially, and academically - ready to succeed in your program and I have the skills necessary to excel.

sksbl88 - / 29 6  
Aug 11, 2013   #2
First sentence and last sentence are very boring. Make them original with something that will last in their mind. Think of what everyone else would do and don't do it. Think of what everyone else would start out with and don't do it. Stand out.

Don't use so many (I I I I I ) all the time. It makes you look self centered and self righteous to the admissions officer. You also have a lot of parallelism and redundancies in your essay. Make sure you cut that stuff out.

Sometimes it looks intelligent to have long sentences by showing you can use proper grammar, but the organization comes off weird. Have more concise, flowing and to the point sentences in your paragraphs.

Use less words, shorter phrases, stronger adverbs and adjectives that are not so popular.

Expand upon the essay too.

Include an example that is very personal and emotional for you that will connect the reader. A life and death situation.

Include some sort of recognition or award or honor you've achieved too from your career path.

5-7 more edits probably and then you'll be good.
sksbl88 - / 29 6  
Aug 11, 2013   #3
2 Pages is usually max for science programs.
OP latinarn 1 / 1  
Aug 12, 2013   #4
yes correct at least for this program.
sngbm87 - / 2 1  
Aug 13, 2013   #5
Much better. If you read your essay then you'll find a lot of grammatical errors, redundancies and sentences that are either repeated information or like you're trying too hard. The essay can actually be shortened and still get your point across. Try to have the topics flow better and play with the paragraphs and sentences more. Read it like an admissions officer would and be really hard on yourself.

Biggest thing is make sure you have proper grammar and composition organization that's concise and clear. Nurses have to be on point constantly or someone's life can be at risk. My family are all in the medicine field actually so I have an idea.

Please like my comments! I need to delete a post.

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