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The Light Inside the Dark. Why would you be a good participant in UGRAD Program?



Madina S 3 / 2  
Nov 12, 2016   #1

Motivation and Volunteering in a Private Organization



Last two years was the most problematic period of my life, being like a corpse among energetic and enthusiast people. Sometimes when people have a trouble and cannot solve it, they want to escape to desert island. I was not an exception: wanted to run away and did not want to communicate with my friends and family members. However, after some time I understood that it may cause even more troubles.

Moreover, I realized that the approach for dealing with a problem mostly depends on the culture. It means that we have a barrier because we are familiar with our culture only, in general. This thought was the reason for thinking about studying in other country. I believe that exchanging knowledge among diverse cultures can aid to find new more efficient solutions. The program can give me a chance to meet with people from other cultures as well as to share information about mine. As a result, I and other participants can acquire totally distinct vision to the issue and probably to solve it.

One day, I obtained a clue to my question that I was asking myself everyday: why I was not happy like others. During the lecture, my teacher told that the meaning of life is happiness, but not your own, others'. In other words, a person feels delighted when people surrounding him are contented and he sees their satisfied smiles. After this unexpected statement, my mind has changed rapidly. That is why, I want to make my country a pleasant place, even the best one, to live. Being a future programmer, I can create helpful applications that will be able to make people live in better conditions: work less and spend most of their time with family members or for themselves. As my mother country is developing, the educational system has not developed fully regardless continuous improvements. For this purpose, the program can help me a lot by providing an opportunity to work on diverse projects under the supervision of experienced professors and consequently to become professional developer and enhance population's life a bit at least.

Being a volunteer in private organization called CodeCraft for a year proved once again that attempting to improve others' life boosts happiness in yours. Its aim is to teach children programming skills and through this to develop IT field in Uzbekistan. The reason for participating was the goal converging with mine. One of the objectives of the course was individual approach to every kid. My task was assisting the instructor and helping kids aged 9-13 when they could not catch a point or experienced other issues. As the project required to work with children, I was supposed to be adaptive and open-minded. Despite the contrast in the way of thinking between my peers and children, I did not experience any difficulty or pressure.

The most important factor for achieving a goal and doing the best is motivation. Its existence makes things seemed impossible to become real. According to the points mentioned above, I can be sufficiently good participant in the program. I hope that the program will enable me to improve myself and enhance my knowledge and experience.

ryan31 65 / 89  
Nov 13, 2016   #2
hai madina
nice to read your essay
I have some suggestions for you
hope it helps

they want to escape to the desert island.

... thinking about studying in the other countrycountries . <<< (other + plural, another + singular)

As a result, I and other participants can acquire ...
consequently, other participants and I can acquire totally distinct vision to solve the problem.

Its aim is to teach children programming skills ...
it aims to teach the children about programming ...

... goal and doing the best iswas motivation. <<< past tense

Its existence makes things seemed...
the existence of this makes things seemed impossible to become real.

I can be a sufficiently good...

I hope that the program will enable me ...

thanks
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Nov 13, 2016   #3
Madina, I am not sure that this essay will work for the benefit of your application. The UGrad program is a one year program that asks the participants to make full use of the semester abroad to help increase their personal knowledge base while exchanging information with the host country's students. Your essay really started off really bleak and sad. That isn't really an opening statement that would entice the reviewer to continue reading your application.

I am not sure about the problems that you hope to resolve during this year abroad. Could you be more specific and make sure that the problems that you will relate will find a solution to has a stronger academic than personal reason for existing? The program is not meant to be psychological therapy for you. It is meant to increase your knowledge through an exchange of information between students. That is not the vibe that I am getting from your essay.

What I am pointing out is that the reasons that you present for making you a good participant isn't really that impressive. You need to explain what would make you an exceptional addition to the program. Some academic accomplishments, along with civic interests should help to better align your response to the essay requirements.


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