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Today, we live in a world that has very little regard for our planet and its inhabitants



rayanimal 1 / -  
Oct 25, 2014   #1
[bIn a concise narrative, describe your notion of 'the good life'. How will your undergraduate experience at the University of Florida prepare you to live 'the good life'?[/b]

Caring about People on the Planet Earth



Today, we live in a world that has very little regard for our planet and its inhabitants. Large corporations are exterminating our largest sources of oxygen, wood, and the species that depend on them, thinking only of the capital that they plan to obtain. People live in large cities, full of noise and pollution, disregarding their civic responsibility to keep the Earth clean and healthy and focusing only on their own individual futures, instilling in their children these same values, or lack thereof. In my idea of the 'good life', this lifestyle is not just wrong, it is prohibited. My notion of the 'good life' is one where people truly care about their environment, their impact on the world, and their impact on each other, and goes something like this:

Half asleep, I become aware of birds singing cheerful morning songs outside. As my mind is awakened, my senses begin to pick up on the rest of my surroundings: the sound of the soothing, rhythmic flow of the creek only a few yards away, the scent of fresh rain and only rain, uncontaminated by synthetic pollutants, the feeling of cool air passing through my open windows because where I live, single women do not have to sacrifice security to enjoy life's simple pleasures, and when I finally open my eyes, the breathtaking view of the mountainside that I have made my home, illuminated by the rising sun. After taking in the beauty of this average day, I start my daily morning routine and set off on my way to work.

My job, hopefully in a well-funded research institution that finds groundbreaking new information almost every other day, is one that I love. I wake up every morning excited because I know that I am doing something important that will positively affect the world and all of the living things that depend on it. The people I work with, though all having different backgrounds, hardships, educations, and opportunities, share my excitement and goals for our planet, to keep it as new and beautiful and natural and alive as possible for ourselves and for future generations.

Without my education and experience at the University of Florida, I would not be able to attain this 'good,' or rather, 'perfect life.' My good life includes financial security, a job that is heavily involved in the sciences and nature, and frequent contact with people that are thinkers and doers committed to improving the future of the earth. The University of Florida offers many science majors to choose from that can help me to better the world and also has a diverse student body with each student having a completely different perspective on life to share and to learn from. It also has a beautiful campus which will definitely make it easier for people to understand the direct impact that taking good care of our planet will have on us and the plants and animals that we share it with.

is my essay too short or missing something?

LPMG 1 / 3  
Oct 25, 2014   #2
This is a very long sentence:
People live in large cities, full of noise and pollution, disregarding their civic responsibility to keep the Earth clean and healthy and focusing only on their own individual futures, instilling in their children these same values, or lack thereof.

This is also a long sentence:
As my mind is awakened, my senses begin to pick up on the rest of my surroundings: the sound of the soothing, rhythmic flow of the creek only a few yards away, the scent of fresh rain and only rain, uncontaminated by synthetic pollutants, the feeling of cool air passing through my open windows because where I live, single women do not have to sacrifice security to enjoy life's simple pleasures, and when I finally open my eyes, the breathtaking view of the mountainside that I have made my home, illuminated by the rising sun.

Long:
The people I work with, though all having different backgrounds, hardships, educations, and opportunities, share my excitement and goals for our planet, to keep it as new and beautiful and natural and alive as possible for ourselves and for future generations.

Long:
The University of Florida offers many science majors to choose from that can help me to better the world and also has a diverse student body with each student having a completely different perspective on life to share and to learn from. It also has a beautiful campus which will definitely make it easier for people to understand the direct impact that taking good care of our planet will have on us and the plants and animals that we share it with.

I would shorten those sentences Otherwise, great essay!


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