Hello, everyone. I'm currently working on my Transfer essay, and I'm just not sure on what to add and what to take out on this essay, considering it's my first draft.
My father often believed in the importance of being persistent in front of any adversary. In fact, that's always been his answer when I asked him about how to get my dream, as well as everyone else. Like my father, I believed in his words and had been facing all of my problems without ever backing down from them.
Numbers fascinate me; they can tell a story as well gives you information. It has always been that way ever since my internship during one of my break quarters. Working as a part-accountant and web-designer during that time, I grew interested in the concept of numbers as a way to get information through when words couldn't. I've been working with them ever since, whether it's solving equation or working with cash flows floating on the net and textbooks. It's no wonder that this fascination led to me choosing Mathematics as my main Major.
Shoreline Community College had been a really enjoyable experience for me; with a great community alongside faculties to help me along my path of discovery. It was there I met most of my current friends, and it was also there that I met some of the most friendly professors that helped me with my educational questions as well as pushing me forward into my current choice. In the end, though, it was but a step forward to me to reach my goals, as there comes a time where I have to bid farewell to the place that had nurtured me for a year to prepare me for my jump forward in my life.
Upon transfer, I will pursue more courses that correlate to my love of numbers and continue to reach forward in order to achieve my life-long dream of working in a great team of professionals one day. Socially, I'll start to expand from my usual circle in order to connect with more sharing the same passion as mine in order to further my goals as well as having a support system that'd keep me on track with my studies.
Reworked first paragraph, does this look better now?
That's what my father said to me when I asked him about how he got to be a successful person from his humble beginnings.
That's what my father said to me when I asked him how he managed to be so successful in life with his humble beginnings.And in fact, that's always been his answer when I asked him about how to get my dream, as well as everyone else
.... sounds a bit repetitive....
And that had been the same answer whenever I asked his advice for realizing my own dream.They're a firm believer of the fact that as long as you don't give up on your dreams, you'll get there in the end.
... wish you have taken this off... it's the same idea told in many different ways :(
