"Was it long or short, Okawa-san", a man asked his 116 year old grandmother on a video; why UChicago

How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.

"Was it long or short, Okawa-san", a man asked his 116 year old grandmother on a video I found on YouTube. "Short", she said in Japanese. Life is unpredictable and short. Growth. This is my single biggest desire - in terms of the depth of my personality, being more open-minded and more human. The environment I grow in undeniably has an impact.

UChicago imbibes intellectual curiosity in the students. I love how students are directed to original texts as opposed to reading out of a textbook. Having debated for over two years now, I understand the transformation a mind undergoes through constructive debate. Previously, I would stray from gay people given my beliefs but I can now empathize more with them. The discussion-oriented classrooms at UChicago make me confident that I will grow ther.

The core program with the holistic perspective it provides - in the arts, sciences, philosophy - is something I would love to study since I can see it contribute to my understanding and the depth of my personality.

Study some of the greats - Walt Disney, John Rockefeller, C.S Lewis - they all surrounded themselves with great thinkers. Given the nature of UChicago, I know I will be surrounded by people with unique perspectives and I am excited to embrace and understand this diversity.

The sudden mention of gay people took me by surprise...try to find a different way of explaining how debating has made you a more open minded person. Maybe start off that sentence with "For example, I used to stray from the LGBTQ community because of my bigoted/ prejudiced/ one sided/ biased opinions. Through debating, I am now able to emphatize more with them."

The discussion-oriented classrooms at UChicago make me confident that I will grow there: I believe the disccusion-oriented classrooms at UChicago will help me to grow both as a debator and as an academic.

And what are you interested in studying? Maybe you can pepper your piece by mentioning your intended major. If you are undecided, it might do you well to expand on the bit on the core program and how will help you to understand yourself better and thus help in discovering what you want to do.

Good luck!

I agree with Laiya, you need to be politically correct in your essays. Try not to touch on controversial topics or come across as a person with certain inhibitions that could prevent his well-rounded development and relationship with other university members. I suggest that you delete that portion in your essay and find something else to fill the space with that relates to the prompt more. That statement was really disconnected and only took attention away from your actual message and thoughts that should have been the true focus of the paper.

Thank you both for the feedback. I'll re-work that part. Besides that, how does it sound generally?

It is really a very simple essay that needs to delve deeper into the academic and intellectual connection that you have the potential to create at UChicago using their available academic and social resources. Try to connect your academics to specific learning and internship programs at the university. Discuss the diverse community that exists at the campus and how you feel involved in it and welcomed. Explain how you can make the student community even better via specific contributions to the social activities of the school. Finally, connect how the learning experience that you will have at the school will be sure to help you achieve your future goals and ambitions. Making it appear that you cannot get this kind of education anywhere other then UChicago. That should help you better answer the essay prompt without insulting anyone or placing yourself in a bad light :-)

Thank you so much!! I'll work on it.