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Lost in Canada - Harvard essay; unexpected situations that happened in my life



Isabellaalmeida 11 / 23  
Dec 11, 2017   #1
The prompt is:

Unusual circumstances in your life


I mentioned two of my projects, Seed and Skylight Club, that are already detailed in other parts of my application.
I'm still editing it, so there is space for any other changes. Also, it's 56 words over the limit, so if there is any part that is irrelevant to the main purpose of the essay, please, let me know.

I also would like to know which personality traits this essay shows.
Any feedback is valuable!

Ottawa, Canada, 12th July 2014

Heading from Westgate Shopping Centre, Pedro, Heloisa and Jean took the same bus, since they lived close to each other; I took Churchill-Byron, the one I used to get when coming back from school.

Time was passing and I wasn't seeing either Tunney's Pasture station nor Metro Supermarket - there was something wrong.
Although I wasn't crazy about talking to strangers, felt insecure about my English and intimidated by that large, outraged face and middle-age bus driver, I had to get out of my comfort zone and figure out what was going on.

"Excuse me, sir. Are we going to Churchill Avenue?"
"We are now heading in the opposite direction, girl"
His words came to my heart as the sharpest sword, causing me some milliseconds of panic.
"Well, I just have to call my host mother and she will tell me what to do", I said to myself.
"Cecilia, I took the wrong bus and got lost"
Barely have I pronounced those words, my battery died.
I was completely by myself, and solving that situation depended entirely on me: If I didn't take action, nothing would ever happen.
" I'm becoming an adult, and adults solve things by themselves. That's what I'm going to do."
Then, I asked the bus driver for directions.
His advice that the next (and right) Churchill-Byron bus, which I should take, was the last one of the night caused me a mini heart-attack.

As soon as I saw a boulevard, I dropped off at the nearest bus stop. Maybe a store was open and I could ask for help.

That was Canada over 9 pm. Of course, no stores were open, but the shot was worthy because, on my way back, I saw a weak light coming from a small grocery store.

As I entered it, I saw a guy hurrying up to close the establishment.
I'm still trying to figure out if my anxiety made my utterance confusing, or if his troubles with English were bigger than mines, since, after repeatedly explaining my situation, all I heard were mumblings that went from "eh" to "huh?".

Our connection was not very effective, and I decided to return back to the bus stop. That was my last chance to get back home and I couldn't miss it. Yes, I was afraid. It was dark, nobody was on the streets and I was insecure, but my desire to get back home strengthened me to overcome any obstacle.

Some minutes later, the right bus appeared as, literally, a light at the end of the tunnel.
As I boarded it, I felt like 10 tons were being taken off my back...But that was just destiny joking with me.
As usual, I drop off at Churchill Avenue, but everything was so dark that I, again, got lost. If I felt dumb? Assuredly.
Although everything was apparently against me, giving up was not an option. I was so close to home. I knew that I was.
While I was trying to remember the neighborhood street names, so I could better find my path, I saw a police car - my heart popped up.

I knew that, if I kept trying, I could go back home by myself, but, with police officers' help, things would be way better.
I felt a mix of joy, anxious and nervousness. My fear of talking to strangers didn't even come to my mind - after all, I overcame it. With my heart coming out of my chest, I talked to those two police-officers and explained my situation.

They asked if I wanted them to drive me home, and I, with no hesitation and thanking God for sending those guys, said yes.
For them, driving me home was part of their duty; for me, a night-saving, showing me that small actions may have a great impact on others.

I realized that, despite getting some people worried about me, there is nothing wrong with getting lost: it is part of the game. If it weren't for me taking the wrong path, I wouldn't have overcome my fear of talking to strangers, which was crucial not only to my lectures but also to my personal development: supermarket lines and dining halls became a new world to be explored. Also, challenging myself, risking and persisting shaped my perspective toward my goals, impacting my whole High School experience, and motivating me to found Seed and Skylight Club.

After all, if I do nothing, nothing will ever happen.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15344  
Dec 11, 2017   #2
Isabella, since you have already mentioned See and Skylight Club in other parts, with greater detail in other common app essays, you should avoid mentioning it again in this presentation. It is always best not to duplicate information because each essay needs to portray something new and interesting about you, regarding something new. This is a written interview and, since you would want to avoid being repetitive in an actual interview, so should you in a written essay. Specially when a written essay tends to get more redundant than a physical interview.

Now, the essay that you present is good for a creative writing class, it is not effective as an open topic essay. Truth be told, I could not decipher what unusual circumstance there was in your life in this essay. It is not really an unusual circumstance for you to get lost in the city as a tourist. The situation of worry and panic are normal when a stranger is being looked after by others in a strange country. This is not an unusual circumstance at all.

The unusual circumstance should cover something about say, some situation that could prevent your admission to Harvard as a regular student. Maybe you have the grades to qualify but lack the financial support from your parents to attend Harvard. Or, you were born with a health issue that you had to overcome or a health issue that might prevent you from becoming a regularly active student in the Harvard community. Maybe you are a social justice warrior who has some eccentricities that the Harvard community might need to adjust to or get used to. Think of something unique in terms of situations that may have an effect on your Harvard application. That is more aligned with the prompt expectations for a college application.


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