Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


Love animals & interested in cosmetic animal testin ; William and Mary/ Type of person



rebecca_e 1 / -  
Dec 31, 2012   #1
The prompt is: Beyond your impressive academic credentials and extracurricular accomplishments, what else makes you unique and colorful? We know that nobody fits neatly into 500 words or less, but you can provide us with some suggestion of the type of person you are. Anything goes! Inspire us, impress us or just make us laugh.

This is a very rough draft, but I appreciate any help possible!! Thank you!

I believe that everyone is unique in their own way, making me just as unique as everyone else. Every person on this Earth has a variety of characteristics that are different from everyone else, so I cannot say that I am particularly special when compared to the rest of the world. I do, however, have certain traits that distinguish me from everyone else.

I would have to say that my love for animals is a part of me that separates me from others. I only consider this because other people have told me this is what they think about when they think of me. How I feel about animals is how I expect everyone else to feel about animals because it seems only natural to me, even though I realize now that this is not the case most of the time. One day after school in eighth grade, I turned on my television and an ad for the ASPCA was playing. One commercial of puppy dog eyes and Sarah McLachlan's "Arms of An Angel" song later, I was teary eyed on ASPCA's website ready to make a commitment to pay eighteen dollars a month out of my bank account. Even though I'll admit now that my decision at age thirteen to pay two-hundred and sixteen dollars a year was a bit rash, I'm still grateful for being so easily roped in because it was a decision I will probably commit to for the rest of my life.

I also became interested in cosmetic animal testing in eighth grade, which led me to ban all products that were tested on animals in my household-a commitment my mother was not particularly enthused about. To this day she still receives the stink eye every time I catch her buying Suave instead of Tresemme. The first day of tenth grade I decided to become a vegetarian and as a senior I am currently very lucky to be interning with VCU's Center for Human-Animal Interaction as a part of my senior project for Blue Ridge Virtual Governor's School. With this project, I will be able to take my passion and use it to write a research paper and develop a website in order to inform people on the advantages animals can have on peoples' well being. This is what I wish to do for all of my passions: health and exercise, welfare, education, the environment. I wish to make a real, tangible difference in issues that are close to my heart, and to educate people on the importance of these issues. It is needless to say that I am beyond excited to go to college and surround myself with other unique individuals so that I may begin collecting the tools I need in order to pursue my passions furthermore.

bi123 2 / 10  
Jan 1, 2013   #2
I think this is a great essay!! You've answered the prompt very well.
Just one thing: I don't even think you need the first paragraph. I mean, that's basically what the question is stating right?
And it doesn't draw into your answer straight away.

So, my suggestion would be to start with the lovely, little anecdote about the eighteen dollars. That's really gripping and shows your personality well.

Otherwise, good luck!


Home / Undergraduate / Love animals & interested in cosmetic animal testin ; William and Mary/ Type of person
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳