I love challenges; PERSONAL STATEMENT; MA in Economics

Here are my ps ,could you help me revise it? Thank you very much

For the past three years, my undergraduate education has exposed me to the various sub-fields of Economics. Besides good performance in classes, I also attended several national and international conferences in this discipline, including the first forum on China Market Economy under the Rule of Law and the lectures given by famous economists such as Prof.Robert John Aumann and Prof. Elinor Ostrom. These experiences helped me discover the fascinating world of Economics and reminded me that what I have learned is far from enough. Therefore, it is my desire to pursue a graduate degree in world-class universities.

I love challenges, and the experience of winning the second prize in CUMCM gave me confidence to do research on the expressway's charge system when the toll-free policy in Mainland China aroused heated discussion. During that time, I gradually understood my instructor's words that doing academic research is a process with pain and happiness. After having several talks with my teachers, I decided to do a comparative study among China, the US and Japan. I had to read tens of books and papers, and even picked up some Japanese. Sometimes, I would be bothered in making a sentence more accurate and professional, and sometimes I would lose sleep if there were not any progress.Nevertheless, it was great pleasure to find the improvements I had made,and the experience of choosing a topic of my interest, searching for useful information and analyzing the factors trained my ability of doing research.After amended it for more than ten times, I contributed this thesis to some periodicals and it is in the second round of review now. But the research does not stop, since experience is the best teacher, I have to wait and see whether this reform bring as much convenience to public as the authority announced, and I plan to messure it in a quantitative way.

Since minoring in law for two years, I gradually developed the capacity for critical thinking. This distinguished me from most students in mainland China who only know how to memorize what the authority had told them. Last year I enrolled in the class of Business Ethics, of which the professor is well known for being strict with his students. He believes credit is unshakeable in trades, but I thought that from the perspective of Law and Economics, defaults are encouraged if the outcome outweigh the cost, and this phenomenon exists in our daily life. Later the professor said my question posed a threaten to his theory but he appreciated my critical thinking very much that he would discuss this frontier problem in his next book. Maybe my thoughts are a little naive at this time, but it is much better than never asking why.

Doing the volunteer work as a primary school teacher in rural Beijing and field research work in my hometown increased my understanding of the increasing gap between rich and poor in China. As the leader of a research team, I found great improvements in farmers' incomes in Southwestern China, but these are on the cost of selling their land and turn to be the unemployed hobo. As a result, large numbers of them turned to be migrant workers in big cities. But as a teacher in the school for the migrant workers' children, I just felt pity for the poor education and care they received both from their parents and society. I only opened their horizon and offered them an unrealistic blueprint, but there are numerous challenges for their dream come true, and I believe it is the government's duty to help them.But my experience of being an internship in the local government showed that the officers often found it difficult to work effectively because of the impractical policy made by their leaders. These experiences helped me to realize how important the government's economic plans are to the people's livelihood. In order to become sound economic policy makers, I wish to further my study in your institution, and go further to get a PHD if possible.

I plan to work for universities or government departments after I finish my study. Since Hong Kong is a leading regional financial center, it must bring me a different experience compared with Beijing. Your program will not only help me become more professional to do economic research in the field of public finance and Labour Economics, but also broaden my horizon and help me find decent jobs. On the other hand, from where I grow up and the volunteer work I had done, I believe I will be a great help for professors who are interested in the regional disparities in China and the immigration labours (like Prof. Tsui,Kai Yuen and Prof. LIU,Pak-wai).And I am looking forward to your admission.

Right now the only thing you tell me is that you just want to do some studying and that you've done all of these cool things in China. You don't present any sort of life goal/plan or any reason why you need to get this economics degree other than you want it.

I wouldn't admit you with this essay. I expect all students applying for this MA in economics to have qualifications similar to yours. What will differentiate you is some sort of career or life goal that just happens to include this university. Show yourself as someone having great ideas and plans that are dependent upon first receiving an education at this university. No one cares if you want to study something - they care about what you want to do with it. Perhaps your goal could be something like "designing and implementing policy solutions that benefit poor Chinese citizens" or something like that.

Also, be sure to know what school of economics your institution teaches. If you're talking about how you love government economic plans in a very Austrian or free-market university, you'll probably be denied simply because the University would rather work with free-market students. The same occurs if you talk about free-market or Austrian economics to a government-loving institution. You have to really know your audience, especially when it comes to economics since the way particular universities think is so drastic.

I like how you want to work with certain professors, but express your desire to work with them as stemming from a desire to gain more experience that will allow you to achieve your goals and do great things.

thank you very much. I wonder whether things would be much better if I say I want to be a professor. I mean, researchers are welcomed both in free-market university or government-loving insitution.

maybe I should have a start like this,

For the past three years, my undergraduate education has exposed me to the various sub-fields of Economics. Besides good performance in classes, I also attended several national and international conferences in this discipline, including the first forum on China Market Economy under the Rule of Law and the lectures given by famous economists such as Prof. Robert John Aumann and Prof. Elinor Ostrom. These experiences helped me discover the fascinating world of Economics, and I wished that one day I could be able to research the social economic problems, give advice to both the government and the public, and teach the most talent university students as they do.Therefore, it is my desire to pursue a graduate degree in a world-class university such as XXXX.

Should I emphasize my goal in the middle part of my essay like

Outside of the University I have undertaken volunteer work as a primary school teacher in rural Beijing, and also field research work in my hometown. Both of these activities greatly increased my understanding of the increasing gap between the rich and poor in China. As the leader of a research team, I found great improvements in farmers' incomes in Southwestern China, but only at the cost of selling their land to become wage-laborers in an area where no work was offered them. As a result, large numbers of them turned to be migrant workers in big cities. As a teacher in the school for the migrant workers' children, I felt great pity for the poor education and care they received, both from their parents and from society as a whole. I hope to have opened their horizon, and to have offered them a blueprint for a better future, but there are many challenges they must overcome for their dream to come true. I believe it is the government's duty to help such people, but my experience of being an interns in the local government showed me that the officers often found it difficult to work effectively, because of impractical policies made higher up. These experiences helped me to realize how important the government's economic plans are to the people's livelihood. Only if those who see such problems fully appreciate and train themselves in both reality and theory can they become a sound scholar to give wise advice to the government, and it is to this end that I wish to further my study in your institution, possibly a PHD should circumstances allow.

Since Hong Kong is a leading regional financial center, it must surely bring me a different perspective compared with that I have developed in Beijing. Your program will not only help me to become more professional in undertaking economic research in the field of public finance and labor economics, but also broaden my horizon and help me to found a meaningful career. I also hope that the perspective I bring to Hong Kong from my studies and prior experience may also be of some small help should you be kind enough to accept me.

Thank you for your kind attention, I very much hope that you will consider my application to your university in a positive light and grant me the opportunity to study there by accepting it.

I definitely like how you focus on your goal.

Basically you can describe your background and how that is already getting you to where you want to be and then explain why this university will help you get there. Additionally, you can briefly talk about the future. Just show that you're a determined person who has already worked towards a goal and simply needs to further their education to get there.

.... I feel this is the best phrase to start off with your response. Try and fix it as the hook at the beginning of this response.


I think it is good to talk about your goals in the latter part after finishing talking about your background, both academic and extra curricular

This is good writing. I think you've done a good job!

thank you very much and I will revise my PS with your help.