'major in Communications with the hopes' - Transfer Essay for Texas A&M

A: Purpose

I was taught at a very young age by my parents the meaning of a challenge and how I will benefit from them later on in life. I grew up in a middle-class family in which my father was always in and out of jobs, never allowing my family to be financially secure. I admire my family more then anything, and having a lack of stability growing up for me and my three sisters has turned me into a very conscientious, hard working girl who does not take life or money for granted. The challenge I am currently encountering is putting my self through school along with covering all my other expenses. However, I know that the benefit of this hard work and getting my degree in Communications will welcome new experiences to learn something new. I chose Texas A&M University knowing that this college in particular has the type of morals and standards that will benefit myself and better me as a person in a lot of ways. It took me a couple of semesters to narrow what I want to major in, however, once I came across the Communications department I immediately knew that this would be an excellent fit for me. I have a huge passion for people and dealing with them first hand. I chose to major in Communications with the hopes that I will one day be able to turn my career into helping the community and the opportunity to tackle the issues in which I believe matter.

Too short?
Too broad?

Any feedback will be appreciated!!

i would at least add a second closing paragraph. Focus on structure. Follow a logical pattern.