A couple questions. Any comments and advice would be appreciated.
Do you think these answer the prompt well and give a good idea of my character?
Does the first essay seem to self-deprecating at times?
Prompt #1
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement
My decision to major in film at this point feels so innate, that it would be difficult to speculate the genesis of it. Growing up in the province of Ontario, Canada, where most are fortunate enough to make it through the paralyzing seasons, I found sanctuary in movie theaters. While my parents both weren't avid filmgoers, my Mother's best friend Susan was. She would treat me to afternoons where we'd go see double features and I was suddenly exposed to the rich beauty of cinema.
When I was eight years old, my parents, disgusted with the mucky weather, up and moved to sunny San Diego, California. Living in San Diego and being two hours away from the burgeoning film industry of Los Angeles, was an alluring fantasy. I often got to experience this when we'd take trips to the Hollywood walk of fame and Universal Studios. While I was always fascinated with the medium of film, I knew I wanted to major in the field when I was fourteen and got a job at my local movie theater. I slaved at the thankless job for 3 years, but was rewarded with free movies, which made up for the low pay and cruel working conditions. The blessing eventually became a hindrance freshman year when I began cutting classes to indulge in free movies. While I created a sweeping knowledge of film, I also became somewhat introverted and disoriented, failing classes and digging myself into a hole. During my senior year, I took thirteen classes over the course of a semester, putting me on the right track for graduation.
In my second semester of senior year, I took a Video/Film class, where I practiced what I'd learned watching films by putting it into practice. The first film I made was called Out of Touch, and was about a man who becomes continually disillusioned by Iran's efforts to manufacture uranium to achieve nuclear proliferation. He eventually locks himself up in his home where his thoughts and reality become indistinguishable. Making the film helped me understand the technological side of the process and bettered my understanding of what it takes to create a film. I learned to respect the art form as an expressive tool of both political and philosophical ideas. In community college I've remained active keeping a film journal, and collaborating with members of our film club where we've diligently produced multiple short films. To major in film, would be a deeply rewarding experience to express personal ideas and share what I find to be of importance through narrative.
Prompt #2
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
I've always felt an insatiable urge to travel and delve into other cultures. My Mother was born in England and my Father in Italy, and they both wore their respective cultures on their sleeves implementing them into every facet of my youth. When the eighth grade came around, there was a school-sponsored trip being offered that would include a tour of such places as Morocco, Spain, and Gibraltar. I pleaded with my parents to let me go, and they eventually agreed, shelling out their hard earned cash, so that I could experience the privilege of travel.
When I reached Spain after a draining flight, I explored the city of Barcelona with friends, despite my exhaustion. During the duration of our trip in Spain, we explored Toledo, Madrid, and other smaller cities. In Toledo, it was remarkable to see a place that looks like it hasn't changed in a thousand years. Monolithic churches and long brick roads surrounded the city. The influence of religion in the city is paramount, as were many cities in Spain. Visiting various monasteries and museums gave me insight into the rich cultural history the country offered.
The real treat of the trip was my experience in Morocco. When we got off of the short boat ride to our destination, I couldn't believe the vast change in landscape. Once we reached the city, I felt like I was in another world. Being immersed in the thriving bazaar was a completely different change of pace. We visited stores, where hand-made tablecloths and rugs were sold and it was remarkable to see the amount of labor that went into every item sold. The hand-stitched fabric took months to manufacture and I immediately bought one as a gift to my parents for the pilgrimage they allowed me to take.
The trip I took was amazing for the way it allowed me to view a colossal disparity between the cultures in Spain and Morocco. It reminded me of when I was six years old and my Mother remarried in the Bahamas. When we arrived, I was shocked by the rampant poverty once foreign to me. It allowed me to abandon my naiveté and experience things with an open eye. Experiencing a trip without the supervision of my parents was also an enriching experience. Rather than eat huge meals out, it forced me to live modestly and appreciate independence.
I've always had a compulsion to learn about other cultures, and this trip was an important formative experience. Without the beauty of this trip as well as others I've taken since, I don't think I'd understand the world as well as I do now for the wonderful multifaceted place that it is.
-Thanks
Good afternoon :)
Some general mechanical corrections in regards to both pieces. First, avoid contractions in formal academic writing. Second, make sure you are capitalizing only proper nouns and the first words of sentences.
In regards to content, I think they are both good answers to the prompts. I think you do give a good description of your character, and I don't see how these could be described as "self-depreciating." I think you've done a good job presenting yourself.
Regards,
Gloria
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