What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.
I am international student and I will check my grammar mistakes later. Please give mi advise about content.
I intend to major in International Studies and have been decided my entire life. My interest against international studies started when I was born. My grandparents accepted international students so that I had opportunities to communicate people from all over the world. These environments encouraged me to learn other language for communicating with them; therefore, I entered the private Christian secondary school which valued students acquiring international way of thinking.
In secondary school, I had many opportunities to learn international way of thinking. Those are education based on Christianity and three times of study abroad. In my school, I had morning service every day, and I went to church on Sunday. Through studying Christianity, it helped me to learn way of thinking of Christians that different from Japanese way of thinking. Also, during six years as student, I had three times to study abroad and went to sister school in Australia, Korea, and the United States. During every studying abroad, I always had language barriers with my classmates. I felt irritated with myself that I could not speak what I would like to say in English. Also, I realized that in order to understand each other, the language is the most important tool for communicating.
After graduating from high school, in order to study international studies, I chose to go to Grossmont College in the United States that many races and point of views gathered. Then, I realized that how Spanish is important language in the United States and also in the world. Although Spanish is unfamiliar language for Japanese, I chose to take Spanish class as my third languages. Not only studying in the class, I joined the round-the-world trip sponsored by NGO for encouraging my Spanish. In the ship, I worked as the volunteer in Spain and South American countries. My job was supporting tourists' communications with local people. I enjoyed communicating with local people and realized that language gave me the opportunity to share joy with people from different backgrounds. Then, I became determined to study a linguistic of Spanish in my international studies major.
In University of California, I would like to study abroad in Spanish spoken country and hope to learn not only language but also their cultures. Through studying in international studies major, I believe that I am able to success in global society.
I would not start the essay with how you did. It makes me not interested in reading the rest of your essay because I already know what it is about.
I am not the best essay writer, but there are quite a few grammar issues that need to be solved.
I would like to study abroad in a Spanish-speaking country and...
I believe that I am able to success succeed in global society.
Your intro and conclusion paragraphs are very brief.
At the end of each, you should add a sentence to express the theme of the essay powerfully.
...therefore, I entered the private Christian secondary school which valued students acquiring international way of thinking. (Add a sentence that tells the reader that you have made your decisions with the intention to succeed as an international relations expert.)
In the conclusion paragraph, I think you can refine your focus by saying something more specific about what you would like to do during your career. Unless you specify, international studies is a broad, broad, subject. Narrow the focus of the essay.
BTW, this is very impressive. It is impressive that you can show evidence that you have been preparing all your life for international studies.
