Hi everyone
I've written these for Columbia's short answers... (incomplete)
I want to know if I'm on the right track... please point out my grammars. Thank you
Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why
Being located in the city of New York, Columbia University stands out for its vast diversity of the campus. Its students are in such a global community, learning the ideas from all over the world. In today's society, working as a team is one of most crucial skills we need to succeed; Columbia provides an opportunity to gain such skill naturally. I want to attend a university where I can understand the various cultures and become better round individual.
For applicants to The Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Science, please tell us what attracts you specifically to the study of engineering
Among all majors, I believe engineering helpsus enhance our live tremendously. By taking a look around, everything we use is made by engineers: tables, lights, chairs, beds, even the house we live in. I want to spend my life learning the complex way things work and challenging my creativity. The engineers are required to solve the problems in many different situations, developing the flexibility to adapt to where they are, and contrive the innovations. That's the skill I want to gain to make the world a better place.
Being located in the city of New York, Columbia University stands out for its vast diversity among the campus.
(Its students are in such a global community that many ideas are probably engineered and influenced by many different cultures.)
I'm not entirely sure what you were trying to say with the original sentence. If I modified it to the point where your original idea was lost, then do not take my sentence and explain what you were trying to convey.
In today's society, working as a team is one of most crucial skills we need to succeed; Columbia's environment provides an opportunity to gain such skill naturally. I want to attend a university where I can immerse myself in various cultures, learn from them, and use that to become a better well− rounded individual.
End Result:
Being located in the city of New York, Columbia University stands out for its vast diversity among the campus. Its students are in such a global community that many ideas are probably engineered and influenced by many different cultures. In today's society, working as a team is one of most crucial skills we need to succeed; Columbia provides an opportunity to gain such skill naturally. I want to attend a university where I can immerse myself in various cultures, learn from them, and use that to become a better well− rounded individual.
Btw, your original essay was great; I just added words to tie the essay's main idea together. (With the exception of that one sentence I didn't understand)
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Among all majors, I believe engineering helps to enhance our lives tremendously. Take a look around; everything we use is made by engineers: tables, lights, chairs, beds, even the houses (I added an "S" because I'm assuming you don't live with the guy reading this lol) we live in. I want to spend my life learning the complex ways in which objects work and challenging my creativity to engineer better products. (The word "things" sucks in my opinion. Try to avoid it when writing essays, you can always be more specific.)The engineers are required to solve the problems in many different situations, developing the flexibility to adapt to where they are, and contrive the innovations. Those are the skills I want to gain in order to make the world a better place. (It's more than one skill. So i changed it for plurality)
End Result:
Among all majors, engineering helps to enhance our lives tremendously. Take a look around; everything we use is made by engineers: tables, lights, chairs, beds, and even the houses we live in. I want to spend my life learning the complex ways in which objects work and challenging my creativity to engineer better products. Engineers are required to solve problems in many different situations. Thus, they need to develop the flexibility to adapt to where they are and contrive innovations. These are the skills I want to gain in order to make the world a better place.
THE PART I BOLDED... try to develop your idea more in the last few sentences. I'm also a prospective engineering student. I think the situation doesn't matter much, for example your sentence could be telling the reader "Engineers need to learn how to work when its cold outside and when its raining, so they need the flexiblility to work in different areas." I think the idea you are trying to convey is "Engineers have to learn to deal with many different problems and learn to be flexible with their creativity."
I think the latter idea will develop your essay better, try again on the last few sentences.
Being located in the city of New York, Columbia University stands out for the vast diversity of cultures and interests among its faculty and students . Current students are in a multifaceted community, learning the ideas from all over the world. In today's society, working as a team is one of most crucial skills we need to succeed; Columbia provides an opportunity to gain such skill naturally. I want to receive my education attend as a student at this university in which I can understand the various cultures and become well-rounded individual.
Among all majors, I believe that an engineering major is especially useful for empowering me to perform work that helps to enhance our lives. By taking a look around, I see that everything we use is made by engineers: tables, lights, chairs, beds, even the house we live in. I want to spend my life learning the complex way things work and challenging my creativity. The engineers are required to solve the problems in many different situations, developing the flexibility to adapt to where they are, and contrive the innovations. That's the skill I want to gain to make the world a better place.
Nice job! I just made some small adjustments...
Thanks so much!! :)
