Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 3


Make others Happy; Yale/ What matters?



mr_scottyt 1 / 9  
Dec 31, 2012   #1
the yale supplement limit is 500 words. i want to use my "what matters?" stanford 2000 character essay for the yale one but dont want to come across as lazy for only writing 355 words.

can you tell me if i should add anything/not use it?

I raced into my brother's room, still feeling the euphoria of his reaction to my last gift. I flung open his closet door and searched for a favorite toy of his. Wrapping paper in hand, I kidnapped a stuffed animal and made it back to my room unseen. My four year old hands trembled with excitement as I hastily covered the animal's fleece coat with birthday gift wrap.

At such an early age, I yearned for the jubilation I got from providing others with happiness. I viewed wrapping up favorite toys of my brothers and sisters and re-giving them as a foolproof way of achieving such happiness because I already knew they would love what lay hidden beneath the decorative exterior. My motives were innocent; I was simply trying to revive the same pleasure I had felt after giving my first present.

Many years and inches later, I began volunteering for the county food bank to collect, deliver, or sort food items. It was not until last year that I realized the impact I was making on some of the lives around me. The recent economic recession left a close friend of mine's father out of work for over a year. Struggling already to pay the house mortgage, the family began to rely on the county food bank for many common groceries. My work not only helped my friend and her family, but scores of other members of my community.

Although my days of wrapping my siblings' toys as gifts have passed, my love of providing others with joy has not. I have learned that gifts are not the only way for me to give to others. There are many different ways to help others, both directly and indirectly.

My passion of giving to others has led me from re-giving toys to my siblings to volunteering in my local food bank. Whatever mode of service or giving I am able to provide, I am left with the same feeling of extraordinary satisfaction. Although I am providing service to others, I almost feel a sense of selfishness because I receive so much pleasure from doing so.

luky0ne 7 / 27  
Dec 31, 2012   #2
to collect, deliver, or sort food items

"by collecting, delivering, or sorting food items"

the family

"her family"

Other than that good essay :). If you want to lengthen it you could add how your siblings reacted to your re-wrapped gifts or a more detailed description of what you do at the county food bank.
elina855 3 / 6  
Dec 31, 2012   #3
Very good! If you can lengthen, lengthen.
"My motives were innocent; I was simply trying to revive the same pleasure I had felt after giving my first present." I feel like something can be added here to conclude it, just reading it leaves me hanging.


Home / Undergraduate / Make others Happy; Yale/ What matters?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳