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'makeing it to the world stage - strength' - Penn State Personal Statement



mcbossman 2 / 3  
Nov 19, 2012   #1
Please tell us something about yourself, your experiences, or activities that you believe would reflect positively on your ability to succeed at Penn State. This is your opportunity to tell us something about yourself that is not already reflected in your application or high school record.

please i need help revising my essay.Any help will be appreciated. Thank you

It wasn't until the second semester of my junior year did my school begin to introduce sports. With this introduction, I have developed a passion for track and have aspired to make it to the world stage. My participation not only gives me a keen understanding of the importance of technique in running but also teaches me that running is not just about the simple movements of the right and left foot but about mental tenacity and perseverance.

One of my specialties is the 400m race. I see this race as a test of endurance and dedication. Above all, it is a race that exemplifies my true character. I usually run this race in 4 phases. The first three phases are the push, pace and position. These phases I run with the proper track technique. On the other hand, the last phase is the phase where I lose technique and break form. This is due to the fact that at this point, I am plunged in pain, my legs feel as though they can no longer get me to the finish line and all I'm thinking about is how long I can bear the pain. In other words, I'm at the verge of quitting. Yet I don't. This last 100m is not about how fast I am or about how strong I am rather it is about how determined I am to win that race. So I keep on pushing myself and my tenacious will to succeed always gets me to the finish line.

My involvement in this activity has influenced me to strive for success no matter how difficult it may be. I will subsequently bring with me this desire to succeed and take advantage of the opportunities at Penn state University to enrich my desire for engineering.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 23, 2012   #2
With this introduction, I have developed a passion for track and have aspired to make it to the world stage.

With that, I became passionately involved with track and field and aspire to make it to the world stage.

My participation not only gives me a keen understanding of the importance of technique in running but also teaches me that running is not just about the simple movements of the right and left foot but about mental tenacity and perseverance.

Running not only gives me a thorough understanding of the importance of its techinque, but also teaches me the mental tenacity and the value fo perseverance.

I see this race as a test of endurance and dedication.

impressive : )
OP mcbossman 2 / 3  
Nov 24, 2012   #3
Thank you very much.Really appreciate it


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