Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 5

'Making my mark academically' - Stanford-- What matters to you? and why?

zkachmer 5 / 11  
Dec 28, 2011   #1
How does this look? It was just a first draft that I wrote pretty quickly, but i like the idea. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

As a young child of four or five, my career goals had already been set. I would graduate from kindergarten, then proceed to graduate school where I would earn a degree that would allow me to become the world's greatest juggler. I would start out with the standard tennis balls, then slowly make my way up into the more dangerous realms of juggling swords and various flaming objects. That was what I was going to do with my life, no doubt about it.

As you can probably guess from my application to Stanford to hopefully study engineering, juggling school didn't work out as planned. As a matter of fact, I am now the only one of my friends and family who still has not learned how to juggle. But as I now think back to those days when I was young, I can't help but smile because, although ridiculous, professional juggling was a dream of mine. And even now, as a senior in high school, I am proud to say that I am still that dreamer I was at the age of five, and it is these dreams, from the mundane to the ridiculously wild, that matter to me and inspire me. I have no clue where I will end up going to college, which degree I will graduate with, or what I will be doing with my life upon graduation, but I do know that I will always be dreaming big and never giving up on even the wildest of my aspirations. In elementary school, I wanted to write books. In middle school, it was playing in the NFL. As a freshman, the dream changed to simply graduating from high school having made my my mark academically, socially, and athletically. Moving forward, I have dreams of majoring in engineering and going on to contribute, of designing innovations that will make the world a better place, dreams of having a family of my own, and dreams of discovering new passions with which to fill my time. And more importantly, I want to do what I can to help others achieve their goals, because I believe we are only limited by the extent of our imaginations. Oh, and maybe I could finally learn how to juggle.

runner57 3 / 9  
Dec 28, 2011   #2
I loved it! But I would take out the part about how you have no clue where you will end up going to college. and also how you say that you have no clue what you want to do with your life, but then you say you have dreams of majoring in engineering, it just kind of contradicts itself. Other than that it was great!
angaduday 4 / 4  
Dec 28, 2011   #3
As a child ...
Overall it's great but it does seem you are contradicting yourself by saying you don't know what to do and mentioning engineering as your choice.
yusra12 6 / 24  
Dec 28, 2011   #4
Great essay! I agree with Angad as well. My only critique is that possibly towards the end of the of the essay you could add more detail to further directly answer the prompot of "What matters to you",whether it be engineering,following your dreams,ect.

goodluck with you essay! check out my duke supplement if you can=]
gurecka 2 / 7  
Dec 28, 2011   #5
So what exactly is it that matters to you - your dreams, your goals, your career, your future? Somewhat unclear... but nicely written

Home / Undergraduate / 'Making my mark academically' - Stanford-- What matters to you? and why?