I think my first essay is lacking the flow. Can anyone help me with that?
Any criticism and suggestion is welcomed! Thank you guys!
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Prompt 1: Select your own book for the First Year Book program and tell us why you would want to share it with your classmates in the incoming class. Why does this book have personal meaning to you?
Among all the books I've read, Only the Paranoid Survive by Andy Grove is the one I would like to share with my classmates in the First Year Book program the most.
This book is not as witty as Freakonomics, nor is it as precise as The Worldly Philosophers; however, it restores the intricate and competitive business world, where everyone strives to survive. Through Andy Grove's narration, I see how he adds pressure on himself everyday and forced himself to be efficient; I see how he keeps everything in his office organized and categorized so that he won't be confused by the heavy work, and I see how he sizes up the situation and plans for the future ahead of time. What Andy Grove has been doing depicts that people need to be strict with themselves and keep pushing their boundaries, otherwise they will be eliminated by the increasingly demanding world. Or, using Andy Grove's own words, in a highly competitive society "only the paranoid can survive."
I resonate with this book not only because of my admiration of an eminent business leader but also because of my own experience. When I entered the academy as a freshman, I excelled in math because of the rigorous education I received in China. Several Chinese seniors suggested me to either take a more challenging math course or use my advantage to memorize mathematical vocabularies in class to prepare for the tests. Unfortunately I chose to stay in Algebra 1 and simply spent my time doing homework. In the midterm exam, I didn't get the grade I expected in math, mainly because I didn't recognize the vocabularies and used the wrong methods. Such situation lasted half a year until I was enlightened by Only the Paranoid Survive and finally made up my mind and started challenging myself.
Prompt 2: According to Henry David Thoreau, "One is not born into the world to do everything, but to do something." What is your something?
On July 5, 2010, the Committee for Handling Proposals for the Chinese' Political Consultative Conference submitted a survey to the mayor of Guangzhou, the third largest city and a key transportation hub in China, suggesting that as Guangzhou had become increasingly globalized, the TV programs on major channels should be produced and broadcasted in Mandarin instead of Cantonese. According to the Committee, their recommendation was brought up for the sake of the city's image.
When I heard of this news, I was stricken by helplessness. I was born in Guangzhou, where I played basketball with my friends, tasted the delicious dim-sum, speeded down the labyrinthian lanes, and napped in the leavy parks. While Guangzhou is getting more and more urbanized and industrialized, the concrete play yards, the street side shops, and the aged buildings can only be found in my memories now. As I grow older and come to America for high school, I cherish Cantonese even more, because it is more than a dialect; connecting me and my hometown, it is a vehicle that fills my passions, my remembrances, and my root. Moreover, Cantonese is the backbone of Guangzhou. Guangzhou would have what the other cities in China have--such as the skyscrapers and modern shopping centers--eventually in the future; however, the other cities in China would never have the typical Cantonese parks and the 300-year-old lanes. A city that lost its backbone might still have a chance to thrive, but would simply become a flamboyant copy and soon shrivel in silence without any identity.
Thus for me, regardless of my occupation in the future, protecting the Cantonese culture from being assimilated or even diminished by the process of globalization is something I will devote my life to accomplish.
Any criticism and suggestion is welcomed! Thank you guys!
===========================================================
Prompt 1: Select your own book for the First Year Book program and tell us why you would want to share it with your classmates in the incoming class. Why does this book have personal meaning to you?
Among all the books I've read, Only the Paranoid Survive by Andy Grove is the one I would like to share with my classmates in the First Year Book program the most.
This book is not as witty as Freakonomics, nor is it as precise as The Worldly Philosophers; however, it restores the intricate and competitive business world, where everyone strives to survive. Through Andy Grove's narration, I see how he adds pressure on himself everyday and forced himself to be efficient; I see how he keeps everything in his office organized and categorized so that he won't be confused by the heavy work, and I see how he sizes up the situation and plans for the future ahead of time. What Andy Grove has been doing depicts that people need to be strict with themselves and keep pushing their boundaries, otherwise they will be eliminated by the increasingly demanding world. Or, using Andy Grove's own words, in a highly competitive society "only the paranoid can survive."
I resonate with this book not only because of my admiration of an eminent business leader but also because of my own experience. When I entered the academy as a freshman, I excelled in math because of the rigorous education I received in China. Several Chinese seniors suggested me to either take a more challenging math course or use my advantage to memorize mathematical vocabularies in class to prepare for the tests. Unfortunately I chose to stay in Algebra 1 and simply spent my time doing homework. In the midterm exam, I didn't get the grade I expected in math, mainly because I didn't recognize the vocabularies and used the wrong methods. Such situation lasted half a year until I was enlightened by Only the Paranoid Survive and finally made up my mind and started challenging myself.
Prompt 2: According to Henry David Thoreau, "One is not born into the world to do everything, but to do something." What is your something?
On July 5, 2010, the Committee for Handling Proposals for the Chinese' Political Consultative Conference submitted a survey to the mayor of Guangzhou, the third largest city and a key transportation hub in China, suggesting that as Guangzhou had become increasingly globalized, the TV programs on major channels should be produced and broadcasted in Mandarin instead of Cantonese. According to the Committee, their recommendation was brought up for the sake of the city's image.
When I heard of this news, I was stricken by helplessness. I was born in Guangzhou, where I played basketball with my friends, tasted the delicious dim-sum, speeded down the labyrinthian lanes, and napped in the leavy parks. While Guangzhou is getting more and more urbanized and industrialized, the concrete play yards, the street side shops, and the aged buildings can only be found in my memories now. As I grow older and come to America for high school, I cherish Cantonese even more, because it is more than a dialect; connecting me and my hometown, it is a vehicle that fills my passions, my remembrances, and my root. Moreover, Cantonese is the backbone of Guangzhou. Guangzhou would have what the other cities in China have--such as the skyscrapers and modern shopping centers--eventually in the future; however, the other cities in China would never have the typical Cantonese parks and the 300-year-old lanes. A city that lost its backbone might still have a chance to thrive, but would simply become a flamboyant copy and soon shrivel in silence without any identity.
Thus for me, regardless of my occupation in the future, protecting the Cantonese culture from being assimilated or even diminished by the process of globalization is something I will devote my life to accomplish.
