'Materials Science and Engineering' - MIT Short Answer: Which Department?

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (100 words or fewer)

Without engineering, we would not be able to stroll the Great Wall, watch television, or drink filtered water. Engineers are the worker bees of the world, always accomplishing something vital. Yet all that will pale in comparison to what can be done with nanotechnology, which is why I am most interested in MIT's Department of Materials Science and Engineering. It would be an honor to research the latest nano-materials, knowing that my labor could potentially change the world. To be a worker bee, contributing to the future sustenance of the world, is an opportunity I do not want to miss.

I worked hard to get this to no more than 100 words...haha. Should I be more specific? More general? Omit the opening examples? Do other things? Thanks.

I think that you do a nice job. I'm not sure if MIT wants to ask why its department appeals to you or why the area of study in general appeals to you.

^None of this is relevant to yourself, yet alone the essay prompt.

You do not discuss MIT's departments or programs at all. You just talk about your interests.[

quote=Pikafu]I worked hard to get this to no more than 100 words...haha.[/quote]
^This is no laughing matter. Perhaps the amount of effort you put in, yes.

I think you've got it right: You identify the general area -- engineering -- as well as the specific field of interest -- nanotechnology. You do so in a manner that is lively and engaging.

Well Simone, I think our contrasting answers will confuse Pikafu over here.
I am going to disagree with Simone, and explain why, so that Pikafu over here can understand my point of view.



^The essay prompt is the reason why. Pikafu may have the general idea, engineering, and the field of interest, but neither of these are departments or programs at MIT. There is no explanation on why either of these is appealing and the reason why also

I think that this answers the prompt directly. Although his reason is a little broad.

Hmm yes.
Well, I am not going to go down that easily!

Pikafu does not say what it is about the department that is appealing.
He implies that he is interested in nanotechnology, and then just says how it will be an honor to study there. Perhaps a stronger link between the department and nanotechnology should be made. It wasnt clear to me the first time that there even was a link.

How can that department help someone with an interest in nanotechnology?
^^

Well he does say that the reason he want to study in that department is because of nanotech so that bit was clear to me. The reason he wants to study nanotech is because he wants to change the world haha.

Maybe I am looking at this in a far more simple way than you Liebe...

Maybe you are.
I always thought that with these type of questions, I should say why I would want to study at that specific department. I am sure that other departments in the USA do nanotechnology based research. I would have just wanted to know why Pikachu wants to study specifically at MIT's.

Then again, perhaps I am overcomplicating things.

Thanks for the responses guys.

As I take it, I should delete/shorten the first examples. Then I should relate my interest in nanotechnology to the department I find most appealing at MIT, because the link there is a little weak. I was trying to go for some inspiration/grand vision with the "helping the world" thing, but I can see where that's too vague. In general, I need to specify my reasons for choosing MIT's Department of Materials Science and Engineering and be more concrete about my goals. Thanks again! This is my first time on this forum, and I am pleasantly surprised to receive so much constructive criticism in a day or so.