Please help edit my essay. I tried to be creative with this one. Does it follow the prompt, any grammatical errors I missed? Thanks.
Prompt: Please describe your interest in the Summer Internship Program, including your science and research background, academic accomplishments and future science career plans and goals.Please be sure to include your name on each page.
I was 10, when I met me, curious me.
She is hardworking, perseverant, and more than anything scientific innovations intrigues her. A newly-turned ten year old, my mom started a pharmacy which later served as the primary care unit for residents of my town in my developing country; Nigeria. While holding dissecting trays, folding gauze bandages, and climbing cabinets to get antibiotics sold only with descriptions, I curiously watched my mother start IV lines, inject patients and empathetically serve anti-malarial drugs. The nature of each disease she treated always fascinated me. My mother's shallow answers to my questions, in attempt to protect my innocence, were never enough. I wanted to know more. I watched her restore health, sometimes successfully and other times not, for three years until we moved to the Bahamas.
I was 13, when I knew for sure.
My love for the natural sciences flourished during high school. An enthusiastic teacher introduced me to the world of cells, tissues, diseases, and the complexities inherent to the study of life. Awed by the resilience of human body and scientific facts, I knew for sure, the release to the impending curious me lay in the roots of biology and chemistry. At that point, science labs became my second home and my chemistry as well as biology teachers became my best buddies. My first view into a microscope opened a new perspective of science to me. I found beauty in both the form and function of living systems, and I understood that sciences are not merely a string of factual information, but a dynamic ocean of ideas and theories. I searched for a profession that fits my discovery, and stumbled upon MD/PhD; from then onwards I knew for sure I wanted to be a medical researcher.
After a successful titration lab, my chemistry teacher offered me an opportunity to conduct an individual research with his supervision on the extraction of caffeine from plants and its effects on human physiological processes. This project exposed me to the fact that the active ingredient in caffeine is nitrogen based organic compound called alkaloids which affect nerve transmission and the induction process through inhibition and activation of enzymes. With this, it became apparent that all the medications my mother served in her pharmacy have an active ingredient.
I was 15, when I started my career.
The decision to major in biology and chemistry once I enrolled in college in the United States came to me as naturally as possible, as I continue to find comforts in scientific innovations. My lab courses; quite and contemplative in nature provides me an environment where I learn to think on my feet, express my opinions, and defend my ideas. My awareness of the demands of a medical researcher drives me to work as hard as I can; a character evident in my cumulative 4.0 GPA and leadership positions in several extracurricular activities. In attempt to dwell into the clinical aspect of my goal, I began volunteering at the Arkansas Children Hospital which has exposed me to the realities of life in a medical profession. My expanded knowledge of the nature of disease led me to accept a research opportunity in the hospital's Immunology department where I will be working with a team on discovering ways to reduce asthma disparities.
I am 17, and I'm ready for more.
Every day, the curious me, I found in my mother's pharmacy at the age of ten haunts me and I know I can't find the experience she wants until I explore outside of my non research institution. With this knowledge, I searched for the summer programs and found Mayo Clinic SURF program. After reading the research description for the immunology department, I knew for sure I have to be a part of this institution. I believe participating in the Mayo SURF program will give me the opportunity to horn my skills at the bench and develop more appreciation for the dedication, skeptics, and patience required for my endeavors. I am determined to make sure that the critical exposure, practical training and mentorship from SURF research faculty will prepare me as a researcher, a leader and an asset to my community. I look forward to a summer filled with opportunities.
Prompt: Please describe your interest in the Summer Internship Program, including your science and research background, academic accomplishments and future science career plans and goals.Please be sure to include your name on each page.
I was 10, when I met me, curious me.
She is hardworking, perseverant, and more than anything scientific innovations intrigues her. A newly-turned ten year old, my mom started a pharmacy which later served as the primary care unit for residents of my town in my developing country; Nigeria. While holding dissecting trays, folding gauze bandages, and climbing cabinets to get antibiotics sold only with descriptions, I curiously watched my mother start IV lines, inject patients and empathetically serve anti-malarial drugs. The nature of each disease she treated always fascinated me. My mother's shallow answers to my questions, in attempt to protect my innocence, were never enough. I wanted to know more. I watched her restore health, sometimes successfully and other times not, for three years until we moved to the Bahamas.
I was 13, when I knew for sure.
My love for the natural sciences flourished during high school. An enthusiastic teacher introduced me to the world of cells, tissues, diseases, and the complexities inherent to the study of life. Awed by the resilience of human body and scientific facts, I knew for sure, the release to the impending curious me lay in the roots of biology and chemistry. At that point, science labs became my second home and my chemistry as well as biology teachers became my best buddies. My first view into a microscope opened a new perspective of science to me. I found beauty in both the form and function of living systems, and I understood that sciences are not merely a string of factual information, but a dynamic ocean of ideas and theories. I searched for a profession that fits my discovery, and stumbled upon MD/PhD; from then onwards I knew for sure I wanted to be a medical researcher.
After a successful titration lab, my chemistry teacher offered me an opportunity to conduct an individual research with his supervision on the extraction of caffeine from plants and its effects on human physiological processes. This project exposed me to the fact that the active ingredient in caffeine is nitrogen based organic compound called alkaloids which affect nerve transmission and the induction process through inhibition and activation of enzymes. With this, it became apparent that all the medications my mother served in her pharmacy have an active ingredient.
I was 15, when I started my career.
The decision to major in biology and chemistry once I enrolled in college in the United States came to me as naturally as possible, as I continue to find comforts in scientific innovations. My lab courses; quite and contemplative in nature provides me an environment where I learn to think on my feet, express my opinions, and defend my ideas. My awareness of the demands of a medical researcher drives me to work as hard as I can; a character evident in my cumulative 4.0 GPA and leadership positions in several extracurricular activities. In attempt to dwell into the clinical aspect of my goal, I began volunteering at the Arkansas Children Hospital which has exposed me to the realities of life in a medical profession. My expanded knowledge of the nature of disease led me to accept a research opportunity in the hospital's Immunology department where I will be working with a team on discovering ways to reduce asthma disparities.
I am 17, and I'm ready for more.
Every day, the curious me, I found in my mother's pharmacy at the age of ten haunts me and I know I can't find the experience she wants until I explore outside of my non research institution. With this knowledge, I searched for the summer programs and found Mayo Clinic SURF program. After reading the research description for the immunology department, I knew for sure I have to be a part of this institution. I believe participating in the Mayo SURF program will give me the opportunity to horn my skills at the bench and develop more appreciation for the dedication, skeptics, and patience required for my endeavors. I am determined to make sure that the critical exposure, practical training and mentorship from SURF research faculty will prepare me as a researcher, a leader and an asset to my community. I look forward to a summer filled with opportunities.