Please help me proofread the essay.
Any critique is welcomed!
This student asked and answered his own question. The question is: "Why do you choose Environmental Study and why do you want to study at Middlebury College"
My interest in environmental studies comes from my experiences related to a river near the house where I grew up. The river is encompassed by wheat fields stretching to the horizon. Early in the morning, I would jog along the riverside through footpath dotted with beautiful wild flowers. The view of poplars across the river faded in and out of the refreshing morning mist, giving me an impression of wonderland. Clear ripples and endless rippling wheat nearby created an ideal place for my thoughts to gallop. However, several years later, everything about the river changed. A chemical factory was set up near the river. Slowly, the pristine river became feculent; beautiful flowers and refreshing morning mist that I got so accustomed to eventually disappeared. Witnessing the bad environmental conditions of the river, my heart was broken.
I really hoped to stop my beloved river from deterioration, but with little knowledge about the environment science, I could do nothing but feel sorry for it. After that painful experience, I truly realized, for the first time, the importance of environment science, a useful subject that helps to preserve a good environment and to create better living habitats for all the species. Later, through a massive amount of reading, I gained much knowledge about the field of environment and gradually developed my interest to the magical field.
Out of interest, I began to pay attention to the state of the environment nationally and internationally, from news of establishing a local chemical factory to science progress of waste treatment technology. Several years later, I entered high school in Suzhou, a city located in the richest part of China. I was amazed by the impressive scenery of countryside there; numerous factories in industrial parks occupy the space that is intended for farmland. Believing that so many factories would certainly influence local environment to some extent, I organized an interest group with several classmates to learn more about the environmental pollution in the developed area. We went to Kunshan Economic & Technological Development Zone (KETDZ) and brought back the water samples from Liu He to do a sampling survey. After conducting experiments in the school's chemical laboratory, we found, out of expectation that some basic items such as chromium and permanganate index are far beyond the standard level. Other places in Suzhou had similar results according to our investigations. Realizing the seriousness of environment condition in Suzhou, we were very concerned about steps Suzhou and other cities took to protect the environment. After thorough inquiries, we learned that some cities like Bao Ding and He Fei indeed took very strong measure, such as proposing the idea of eco-city in the Government Reports. However, they are still the minorities in China and most places did not fully realize the importance of environment protection. Witnessing the state of environment and measures people take locally and nationally, I felt obliged to make my own contribution to environmental problem.
A variety of experiences, either those from my hometown or those from my high school trigger my desire to explore more in the field of environment. At this point, Middlebury is exactly the place for me. As the first school in the United States establishing undergraduate Environment Studies major, Middlebury will undoubtedly satisfy my curiosity and eagerness with its rigorous courses. Numerous field studies locations, from Champlain Basin to Rocky Mountains, and many internship opportunities are also irresistible attractions to me.
At the beginning, ironically, Middlebury College intrigues me not because of its academic strength but because of its beautiful campus set off by poetic hills in the distance. After finding more about Middlebury behind the campus landscape through the website, I was amazed about environmental activism of Middlebury College. Produce from local farmers and school's organic gardens provides one fourth of the meals at school's dining halls; The biomass facility and the wind turbine in the campus will make Middlebury a climate neutral place before long. I am an active man hoping to create a "greener world" in the future. Thus, Middlebury's dedication to environmentally responsible practices is what I want since I hope to contribute my efforts to it through various programs and activities while to benefit from my involvement by getting first-hand knowledge that cannot be obtained from classes.
Any critique is welcomed!
This student asked and answered his own question. The question is: "Why do you choose Environmental Study and why do you want to study at Middlebury College"
My interest in environmental studies comes from my experiences related to a river near the house where I grew up. The river is encompassed by wheat fields stretching to the horizon. Early in the morning, I would jog along the riverside through footpath dotted with beautiful wild flowers. The view of poplars across the river faded in and out of the refreshing morning mist, giving me an impression of wonderland. Clear ripples and endless rippling wheat nearby created an ideal place for my thoughts to gallop. However, several years later, everything about the river changed. A chemical factory was set up near the river. Slowly, the pristine river became feculent; beautiful flowers and refreshing morning mist that I got so accustomed to eventually disappeared. Witnessing the bad environmental conditions of the river, my heart was broken.
I really hoped to stop my beloved river from deterioration, but with little knowledge about the environment science, I could do nothing but feel sorry for it. After that painful experience, I truly realized, for the first time, the importance of environment science, a useful subject that helps to preserve a good environment and to create better living habitats for all the species. Later, through a massive amount of reading, I gained much knowledge about the field of environment and gradually developed my interest to the magical field.
Out of interest, I began to pay attention to the state of the environment nationally and internationally, from news of establishing a local chemical factory to science progress of waste treatment technology. Several years later, I entered high school in Suzhou, a city located in the richest part of China. I was amazed by the impressive scenery of countryside there; numerous factories in industrial parks occupy the space that is intended for farmland. Believing that so many factories would certainly influence local environment to some extent, I organized an interest group with several classmates to learn more about the environmental pollution in the developed area. We went to Kunshan Economic & Technological Development Zone (KETDZ) and brought back the water samples from Liu He to do a sampling survey. After conducting experiments in the school's chemical laboratory, we found, out of expectation that some basic items such as chromium and permanganate index are far beyond the standard level. Other places in Suzhou had similar results according to our investigations. Realizing the seriousness of environment condition in Suzhou, we were very concerned about steps Suzhou and other cities took to protect the environment. After thorough inquiries, we learned that some cities like Bao Ding and He Fei indeed took very strong measure, such as proposing the idea of eco-city in the Government Reports. However, they are still the minorities in China and most places did not fully realize the importance of environment protection. Witnessing the state of environment and measures people take locally and nationally, I felt obliged to make my own contribution to environmental problem.
A variety of experiences, either those from my hometown or those from my high school trigger my desire to explore more in the field of environment. At this point, Middlebury is exactly the place for me. As the first school in the United States establishing undergraduate Environment Studies major, Middlebury will undoubtedly satisfy my curiosity and eagerness with its rigorous courses. Numerous field studies locations, from Champlain Basin to Rocky Mountains, and many internship opportunities are also irresistible attractions to me.
At the beginning, ironically, Middlebury College intrigues me not because of its academic strength but because of its beautiful campus set off by poetic hills in the distance. After finding more about Middlebury behind the campus landscape through the website, I was amazed about environmental activism of Middlebury College. Produce from local farmers and school's organic gardens provides one fourth of the meals at school's dining halls; The biomass facility and the wind turbine in the campus will make Middlebury a climate neutral place before long. I am an active man hoping to create a "greener world" in the future. Thus, Middlebury's dedication to environmentally responsible practices is what I want since I hope to contribute my efforts to it through various programs and activities while to benefit from my involvement by getting first-hand knowledge that cannot be obtained from classes.