Miral School and smile - Williams College Supplement

Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.

Hair up? Check.
Bright smile? Of course!
Open minded? Maybe not.

I march into the classroom, eager to "touch" the lives of my soon-to-be-class consisting of seven autistic second-graders. Though, when I'm introduced, the students pay no attention and continue doing their own thing: running around, talking to themselves, and hitting things. (I want to make this part more descriptive) After some futile attempt at becoming acquainted with my students, I stand in the corner of the classroom, defeated. Why am I here? Suddenly, someone tugs at me. There, my little reticent savior Young-Soo stands, with his hand reaching out. Uneasily, I take his hand. There is no hesitation on Young-Soo's face, only sincerity. Within seconds, he speaks to me millions of heartfelt thoughts as his three deformed fingers and my five fingers intertwine.

I know I'm coming back tomorrow.

Fast forward two years:
I'm still here, in a different class, comprised of the oldest students at Miral School. Some are even older than me, yet, I'm inwardly convinced of my superiority. Next moment, I'm abruptly pushed to the wall and bitten in the right shoulder by my student, Jun-ho. I disappear quickly to the bathroom, trying to process what has happened. I'm confused; what did I do wrong? Suddenly, I become more shaken, shamed by the realization that I have hurt Jun-ho. Entering a stall, I drop and cry. I have acted rashly, but so has he, in an attempt to defend himself from the pressure of the society, from the discouragement he perceived from my faulty attitude. Every day, he and all the other students stand alone, enduring ignorance at home, at school, and everywhere they go, just for being themselves. Still, they continue to hope that one day, someone will value their individuality. Today, I have stood against him for my sake, to further selfish sense of arrogance. Wiping my tears, I walk out of the stall, back to my students. I am ready to stand together with them.

Did I answer the question? I know this needs a lot of work!! Please be as harsh as possible!

Lilly, you almost had the prompt excellently answered with the first part. Then you went flash forward by 2 years and lost the essence of the prompt all at once. You need to work solely on the basis of the scenario you sent up with your reticent angel, Your- Soo. You are asking yourself a question as you stand there. "Why am I here?" That is what the prompt wants to learn about. Why were you there and what made your presence important in the lives of these children, specially Young-Soo's? Take us deeper into that day. How did it play out? Did you eventually learn why that day was important to you? Explain how it developed and let the reader know that you still carry the lessons that you learned from the events of that day. Don't use any aspect of the flash forward part. It does not even hold a clue as to why you would consider that day important. Just stick to the one that has the best possibility of responding properly to the prompt. Remember, you only need reflect upon only one day. Seeing yourself as an outsider looking in. You see your actions and what is unfolding before your eyes. Explain the scene and its importance to you. Help us feel what is happening. We need to be able to imagine it along with you. That is all you have to do :-)