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MIT "Something for fun" and "Department" Essays critique?



sozin817 3 / 8  
Nov 14, 2009   #1
Tell us something you do for fun:
"I can say without hesitation, that I am no Iron Chef. However, I cannot help but smile at the half burnt pancakes that have emerged from my efforts, or the overly salty chicken soup that I apprehensively serve to my family. They are my creations, and regardless of how discrepant or hazardous they may seem, they are depictions of my drive to create. What man has not dreamed of creating something, whether it may be living or not? The act of cooking a dish fulfills that very dream, as a symbol of one's creativity and personality emerges for others to enjoy."

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why?

Perhaps the most appealing program to me is MIT's Brain and Cognitive sciences program. After hearing that this program is embarking on research leading to promising treatments for autism, mental retardation, and Alzheimer's disease, I knew instantly that it is my duty to be part of this endeavor. For an individual who seeks to increase his understanding of the human mind and who has tackled, first hand, the mysteries of autism and other forms of mental retardation, this program will provide me with the tools necessary to help mankind overcome these growing problems.

aquamarine 2 / 5  
Nov 15, 2009   #2
Nice essays! Although for the second one, I think they're talking about the specific courses at MIT (ie course 7-biology) that are kind of like individual colleges within the school. I think UROP is something you do in addition. But I could be wrong :P
glorfs 1 / 8  
Nov 15, 2009   #3
aquamarine
A vast majority of undergrads do urop and this is regardless of ones major. its kind of an addendum to ones undergraduate course.
Im on the same boat as you sozin and i basically specified what course i wanted to take (in my case Course 8) and of course why.

For the first response, how about abridging the first sentence to "I am no Iron Chef."
OP sozin817 3 / 8  
Nov 15, 2009   #4
Thanks for the feedback!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 16, 2009   #5
No comma necessary here:
I can say without hesitation that I am no Iron Chef.

Actually, I like it this way:

I can say without hesitation: I am no Iron Chef.

In the second essay, make "myself" one word.

I really like the Iron Chef essay!! The second essay will be better if you claim to be fascinated with a particular kind of science, and then mention sme recent advancements that excite you.

As an individual who endeavors to increase his understanding of the natural world and who seeks to tackle the medical mysteries that have baffled...
OP sozin817 3 / 8  
Nov 16, 2009   #6
Thanks EF_Kevin!
I'm not really sure if for the second one, MIT wants a specific course or just a general field.


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