menamilad /
Jan 18, 2009 #1
Prompt:
"Tell the universities and colleges why they should choose you
The personal statement is your opportunity to tell universities and colleges about your suitability for the course(s) that you hope to study. You need to demonstrate your enthusiasm and commitment, and above all, ensure that you stand out from the crowd."
Have you had a position of authority or used your communication skills in any activity?
essay:
I would like to start my essay by expressing my desire to study in the United Kingdom. It has always been a dream and always will. I was inspired by my best friend who is from Nottingham that I find respectable and responsible. On the other hand I'm anxious to be introduced to an English society and a new culture.
On the other hand, I believe that I'm talented in soccer, the famous sport game in our country and in England too. I have been playing soccer for almost eight years; consequently, I'm one of the best defenders in my school. We had won the School Soccer Championship four times. I enjoy watching the premier league and I wish that one day I'll be one of the professional Ydefenders in this league. I also play dodge ball since I was seven. I, and my friend hosted a club called "Sports Fanatics" that is held weekly on Tuesday after school where wee coached 3rd -6th graders. Due to its success, I wish to establish a afterschool club for soccer in England. Swimming too plays an important part in my daily life. I swim twice a week in smash club, and considered to be one of the professional swimmers.
Since I was young, I loved to mix chemicals together and do scientific experiments. I used to do the "Vinegar & baking powder" experiment and the candle experiments. My favorite subjects are Chemistry and Biology. I have always got straight "A"s for both subjects during high school. I enjoy doing experiments and dissections. In grade 10, I received the third place in the science fair for the topic "Inventing a Firefighting system", where I, along with two of my friends, went to Bavaria (fire extinguishers' company) where we got our hints and support. We constructed a house and placed in it a heat detector which rings an alarm when it's exposed to a certain temperature. In grade 11 we received the 1st place in the science for the topic "Eat and Enjoy while your Teeth are in destroy" where we conducted an experiment to prove the harmful effects of different types of liquid on our teeth. Another reason for my love to those two subjects is that my dad owns Mena Vet Company which produces veterinary medicines, which sparked the love of science in my heart. My Chemistry teacher is a source of encouragement and motivation to me ; she always tells that I could be a well known scientist one day. She told once told my mother in the parents meeting "it would be unwise if Mena joins anything but Pharmacy" due to my high academic achievements in chemistry. I am interested in drug design which is my intended major.
Last I would like to mention the extracurricular activities that I've joined so far. I a member of People to People International (PTPI). In PTPI we learn about various aspects of countries. from government and religion to food and sports; chapters develop a terrific understanding of friends around the world. Chapter members support exciting initiatives from PTPI world headquarters, plus have the flexibility to develop their own projects according to their interests and means. I am also a member of the Michael Archangel Scout in Michael Archangel church. In this scout we're taught to be selfless and how to survive with the least amount of supplies. We also distribute blankets, food and clothes on the less fortunate
Although I know that it might sound unusual, I love to debate myself. I always stand in front of the mirror and present one view and the opposite one. When judging someone's act in a specific situation, I judge him based on his perceptions and thoughts as if I were in his own shoes. I always stand up for what I believe in. During the student council elections when I was nominated for The School President and I had to present my plan for 2007-2008. I stood up against the principal in a decent respectable way and expressed my disagreement about the bus conditions and my plan to increase the bus fees by 100 Egyptian pounds and buy two buses annually till we reach the desired number of buses. I received a lot of criticisms from the teachers; however , I was happy that I satisfied my self-conscience.
Last but not least, I believe that it is honor to be introduced to such new environment, emerge with different cultures and ethnicities, and increase my social circle. As I'm curious about venturing the unknown. I also hope to be one of the active members in the university and participate in activities and sports in order to enjoy my new life in England. And graduation won't be the end for my future , but it would be the beginning.
Does my essay answer the prompt well..and what are my weak points
"Tell the universities and colleges why they should choose you
The personal statement is your opportunity to tell universities and colleges about your suitability for the course(s) that you hope to study. You need to demonstrate your enthusiasm and commitment, and above all, ensure that you stand out from the crowd."
Have you had a position of authority or used your communication skills in any activity?
essay:
I would like to start my essay by expressing my desire to study in the United Kingdom. It has always been a dream and always will. I was inspired by my best friend who is from Nottingham that I find respectable and responsible. On the other hand I'm anxious to be introduced to an English society and a new culture.
On the other hand, I believe that I'm talented in soccer, the famous sport game in our country and in England too. I have been playing soccer for almost eight years; consequently, I'm one of the best defenders in my school. We had won the School Soccer Championship four times. I enjoy watching the premier league and I wish that one day I'll be one of the professional Ydefenders in this league. I also play dodge ball since I was seven. I, and my friend hosted a club called "Sports Fanatics" that is held weekly on Tuesday after school where wee coached 3rd -6th graders. Due to its success, I wish to establish a afterschool club for soccer in England. Swimming too plays an important part in my daily life. I swim twice a week in smash club, and considered to be one of the professional swimmers.
Since I was young, I loved to mix chemicals together and do scientific experiments. I used to do the "Vinegar & baking powder" experiment and the candle experiments. My favorite subjects are Chemistry and Biology. I have always got straight "A"s for both subjects during high school. I enjoy doing experiments and dissections. In grade 10, I received the third place in the science fair for the topic "Inventing a Firefighting system", where I, along with two of my friends, went to Bavaria (fire extinguishers' company) where we got our hints and support. We constructed a house and placed in it a heat detector which rings an alarm when it's exposed to a certain temperature. In grade 11 we received the 1st place in the science for the topic "Eat and Enjoy while your Teeth are in destroy" where we conducted an experiment to prove the harmful effects of different types of liquid on our teeth. Another reason for my love to those two subjects is that my dad owns Mena Vet Company which produces veterinary medicines, which sparked the love of science in my heart. My Chemistry teacher is a source of encouragement and motivation to me ; she always tells that I could be a well known scientist one day. She told once told my mother in the parents meeting "it would be unwise if Mena joins anything but Pharmacy" due to my high academic achievements in chemistry. I am interested in drug design which is my intended major.
Last I would like to mention the extracurricular activities that I've joined so far. I a member of People to People International (PTPI). In PTPI we learn about various aspects of countries. from government and religion to food and sports; chapters develop a terrific understanding of friends around the world. Chapter members support exciting initiatives from PTPI world headquarters, plus have the flexibility to develop their own projects according to their interests and means. I am also a member of the Michael Archangel Scout in Michael Archangel church. In this scout we're taught to be selfless and how to survive with the least amount of supplies. We also distribute blankets, food and clothes on the less fortunate
Although I know that it might sound unusual, I love to debate myself. I always stand in front of the mirror and present one view and the opposite one. When judging someone's act in a specific situation, I judge him based on his perceptions and thoughts as if I were in his own shoes. I always stand up for what I believe in. During the student council elections when I was nominated for The School President and I had to present my plan for 2007-2008. I stood up against the principal in a decent respectable way and expressed my disagreement about the bus conditions and my plan to increase the bus fees by 100 Egyptian pounds and buy two buses annually till we reach the desired number of buses. I received a lot of criticisms from the teachers; however , I was happy that I satisfied my self-conscience.
Last but not least, I believe that it is honor to be introduced to such new environment, emerge with different cultures and ethnicities, and increase my social circle. As I'm curious about venturing the unknown. I also hope to be one of the active members in the university and participate in activities and sports in order to enjoy my new life in England. And graduation won't be the end for my future , but it would be the beginning.
Does my essay answer the prompt well..and what are my weak points
