"mother's heated workshop" - UC Prompt #1. The world you come frome

This is a draft of my essay.
plz give any comments and correct any grammatical errors.!
thx!!

# Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Plz review this and comment freely about grammatical errors and especially about the theme whether it shows who I am.

As I step into an entrance of my mother's workshop I sniff the heated air steamed out of the kiln. The heat holds my nose so closely that I now run down the aisle toward the small room. The honeyed aroma of fleshly brewed coffee already tickles my nose and familiar old Korean song mixed with spinning sound of the wheel. From there I walk on tiptoe not to disturb one of the most dynamic and tranquil scenes in the world. Mother's wet fingers pull the walls up by carefully squeezing the clay. It reminds the way she used to soothe me vividly with her warm hands. She now gathers her brows slightly which shows she completely engrosses in the meeting of her art and life. In general most people say the artistry of pottery is dissolved into their lives. However, having watched my mother's life I dare to say her life has been rather melted into the pottery.

When she was a kid, her father died of a certain unknown disease and when about to go to university her mother had a car accident. She had to get a job to earn money for her family and got married at my age. Thus, she had been devoted herself to raising me, and helping her husband for almost 10 years in her life. By the time I was in primary school she had any difference from the typical type of Korean mothers who have heated eagerness to educate their children. I was apt to grow up in her enthusiasm for the education merely engrossing in studying without realizing the purpose of study and enjoying the life.

Turning point of my life may be the time that she later found what she earnestly wanted to do for the first time in her life. She took a deep interest and discovered a hidden talent in pottery and became not simply throwing pottery but sincerely throwing her life with clay. She set into stepping forward along the road of a potter. The beginning kept pace with the start of my adolescent at which the students have to study keenly and the zeal for the education of most Korean parents peaked. The burning care for my grades left to the pottery and her belatedly found life.

As I grew up I realized the valuable truth in the relationships between mother and me. She could enjoyed her life with mind at ease from the faith in me. Under the name of freedom she has watched me freely agonize the realities of life and learn much of the world. Even though I was suffered from trial and error, she wanted me to find my own life truly enjoyable rather than one of those lives as she did before through various experiences. What she instructed and gave me through her genuine life devoted to pottery was indeed trust and concern from the bottom of her mind and life.

Whenever I feel frustrated I go to mother's heated workshop. At there coexist success in created pieces and failure in broken pieces while heated in the kiln and first and foremost, my mother ceaselessly throwing the life just with the affection and passion for pottery not dwelling on the success and failure. In her passionate place, I come to realize that in each moment of my life I am the one heated in the kiln and should stand this hardship to be the extraordinary work and also that the process to make the piece and feel a stir in my heart is much more significant in my life than the evaluation of the results like grades. I have found the way to fix my heart and enthusiasm on the life at her workshop and at her aspect throwing a life with her potteries.

when being about to go---- when about to attend university
The first sentence doesn't make sense
My mother got married at my age---- write your age
Next sentence, add an "and" helping her husband for almost ten years
Primary School should not be capitalized
Without realizing "the" purpose

Sorry there are just a lottttt of errors, especially grammatically that it would take so long to correct. May I suggest reading it out loud to yourself? Also, the theme is unclear, trying to clean this up.

thx for comment.
I revised it can u plz look it up again?
I want to check the creativity and clearness of the theme and grammatical errors too.

Sounds very 'listy' i would try to combine the sentences to make it flow more.

She had to get a job and earn money for her family. My mother got married at my age...

She was married at __ which is the same age as me, andIn order to help her family she needed to get a job. ( bad example but you need to make it flow better so it doesnt sound like a list)

hopefully this helps!