My mother's strength - "Vires" Fsu essay (500 words or less)

It would be greatly appreciated if I could receive some help on this essay and tell me ways I can improve this essay.

My Strengths and Grades

Essay

My moral strength comes from my mother. Growing up in a single parent household has always been a challenge. Since my mother was always working, I often had to tend for myself. I always had to fine ways to get things done to make it easier on my mother. She always forewarned me that life would be hard; however, hard work and perseverance can get you through anything. "If you ever happen to fail, get back up and try, try again", my mother said. By heeding her advice, I have become stronger.

Running track for my high school team represents my physical strength. Despite my efforts, people did not hesitate to try and break my spirits. I always kept my head up and did my best. I practiced hard ignoring what people said because I wanted to show them that if I put my mind to it, I could do anything. The day of the meet I was anxious, not for the chance to prove people wrong but for the chance to prove myself right. I ran and leaped faster than ever as my teammates praised. I finished the race and to my surprise I victorious. From that point on, the negative criticism deceased and I proceeded to working as hard as I could to be the best.

The last two years of high school are when I have truly displayed my intellectual strengths. My junior year of high school when some of my senior friends were applying to colleges, they had to settle for smaller schools because they did not have the scores needed for the colleges of their choice. This clicked in my mind and I did not want to be in this position. My grades that year escalated miraculously compared to the previous years. It is a great feeling knowing that I could obtain good grades if I put my mind to it.

Vires, the Latin word signifying strength, is one of my best qualities. I have always displayed moral, physical, and intellectual strengths throughout my life. As these strengths help to mold me into the person I am today, I hope it continues to make me a better person when I attend Florida State University.

I reworded some of the sentences. I liked your essay and hope to see you at FSU.

Since my mother was always working, I often had to tend for myself. I always try to find ways to get things done to make it easier on my mother. She forewarned me that life could be hard; however, with hard work and perseverance can get you through anything obstacles. "If you do happen to fail, get back up and try, try again", Mom has said. By heeding her advice, I have become stronger.(this takes out some of the wordiness)

Running track for my high school team represents my physical strength. Despite my effort people on the team did not hesitate to try and break my spirit. I always keep my head up and tried my personal best. I practiced hard ignoring what others said about me. I believed if I put my mind to it, I could do anything. The day of the meet I was anxious, not for the chance all to prove people wrong; but, eagar to prove myself right (this sounds more positive to me). I sprinted and leaped over the huddles faster than ever, while my teammates cheered. (This sounds more exciting) I finished the race and to my surprise I was victorious. From that point on, the criticism stopped and I proceed to work harder than ever because my physical strength comes from within me.

I like the third paragraph is really good.
You may want to expand on the last paragraph or add more details to the first ones since I shortened it.

Thank you for all the help. This is my revised essay so let me know what you think. I still haven't expanded the last paragraph. I just want to see how the other ones look.