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Motive for exchange program in Japan - to broaden my horizon



erinwu 1 / -  
Mar 22, 2015   #1
please help me:)

I majored in Design at** High School and now major in Creative Design and Management and minor in Early Childhood Education at **University of Education. I have been interested in arts since I was very young and aspire to be a children's arts teacher when I graduate from the university. I look for opportunities to teach arts; I have been an intern teacher for children's arts since the beginning of this semester. Given my learning and teaching experiences as well as educational background, I am eagerly looking forward to entering **program.

Firstly, my chief motivation to join your program is to broaden my horizon-gaining practical experience of working with students from diverse cultures. In the generation of global village, it is significant for us to learn how to cooperate with people all over the world. **provides a great learning platform for students from different cultural and language backgrounds. Students in**are required to complete not only individual work but also team project. I deeply believe that the process of understanding and discussing with people from diverse background will facilitate students to have practical abilities. Besides, subject matter knowledge and cross-cultural understanding are essential for student of arts and design. Good designers and artists should be cultivated in a multicultural environment. If not, they would be narrow-minded like "big fish in a little pond." ** offers its students an opportunity to have an international outlook. I deeply hope that I can be a member of your program.

Secondly,**offers courses of various disciplines; it allows participants to take courses outside of their major field of studies. Therefore, I can learn from peers of other disciplines; through interacting with students other cultures, I can broaden my outlook.

Thirdly, I am highly interested in some of your courses because they are related to the subject and experience I had before. For example, "Japanese Print-Making" and "World Ethnic Groups and Cultures". I had once joined the serigraph award when I was in high school and I have been fascinated by the colors and skills of print making. I want to size this rare opportunity to get further exploration of print making. As for the later class, it recalls the memories and experiences when I interned in the ** last summer. I was deeply touched by the optimistic and warmhearted indigenous people. I learnt the deeper meanings about indigenous culture and appreciate the beauty of ethnic arts. Above experiences are triggers for attaining more knowledge about ethnic groups over the world.

Finally, I would like to accomplish two missions in Japan. One is to observe the class in preschools which is affiliated to**. For example, **. Besides studying the theories about education, I intern as an art teacher in the art classroom. Working in the art classroom gives me the chance to combine theories and practical experiences together. Thus, I am looking for the possibilities of observing art class in different styles, countries and cultures. Another is to travel.

"To travel a thousand miles beats reading a thousand books." Apart from the courses in**, I want to travel as much as I could. During the day in **, I plan to visit all of the museums in Tokyo. For example, ***, *****, etc.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Mar 23, 2015   #2
Hello! I hope you get to have excellent, rewarding experiences when you apply your art for ECE. That is a great aspiration. : )

I think this way of starting is too informational and doesn't spark the reader's curiosity:
I majored in Design at** High School and now ...

It's too common for people to say "I have been interested in XXXX since a young age: I have been interested in arts since I was very young and aspire to be a...

I am not trying to be critical. It's just that you can always improve your writing by 'distilling' it so that you only show the reader sentences that accomplish something useful. Eliminate all unnecessary words, like this: ... children's arts teacher when I graduate. from the university.

As an inspired artist, you can be artful about your essay and how you present information. Kahlil Gibran writes (something like this, not exactly) "If you must be candid, be candid beautifully, for there are people dying in this neighborhood." I'll search for an artful sentence energized with real inspiration that the reader can feel... here is one:

Finally , I would like to accomplish two missions in Japan. One is to observe the... --- I suggest moving this sentence right up to the top of the essay, so it's the first sentence of the first paragraph. Introduce the essay by sharing these two missions. This part of the essay instills curiosity in the reader. They become more alert to find out what the missions are. It really can be a great introduction if you start this way.

: )


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