hii!!
here is another essay that i wrote that i was wondering if needs some revision and correction.. the essay prompt is to write:
Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a jumping off point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.
Of the many different people, places, ideas, and forces that have influenced my life, there was prominent person that stood out above the rest. Though it took me many years to realize just how special a role this person played in my life, all that she did was not in vain, but rather meaningful and inspirational. Unfortunately, I did not realize all of this until this person was gone forever. She influenced me in so many ways that I had hardly noticed. Her name was Mrs. Lois Hirshkowitz and she was my principle for nine years.
I met my new principal in the third grade, at a private school called Lakewood Prep. Naturally, upon my first encountering with the school, I disliked it. I had not wanted to adjust to the new environment because I missed my old school and my old friends; I missed the place where I felt secure and familiar with everyone and everything. This was a feeling that was no stranger to me, and I found would stick with me even as I grew older. I had never really accommodated to change. I liked familiarity, and I liked constancy because these were things I had grown accustomed to.
I soon found that I fit right in, and that Lakewood Prep was the right school for me. As I grew older, I adapted to how openly warm and welcoming the school felt, mainly because it was under such great influence by its coordinator. Mrs. Hirshkowitz, a genuinely patient and gentle woman, was always there for anyone who sought her advice and mentoring. Because of her unconditionally supportive motivation and guidance, I was able to acquire better habits for my own personal development, not just in behavior but also in all aspects interacting with others. This included having respect for peers and elders and learning how to appreciate everyone's presence instead of secluding myself from others. I opened up when it came to participation in class, discussions with teachers, or perhaps just lending a hand to those who needed it the most.
By my last year at the school, Mrs. Hirshkowitz became ill and was out of school for the remainder of that year. Though I was just a freshman in high school, because of Mrs. Hirshkowitz's impact, I had learned a lot about life and how should live it. I learned to appreciate and embrace all of what my teachers had to offer and accept consistent support from students who became valuable friends. I realized that it had not only been a school that our principal had founded, but a home built that consisted of one big family, which would continue to flourish with victory and love. I am eternally grateful to have met an astonishing person with such great ambitions in life, devoted to others' happiness. Mrs. Hirshkowitz has helped shaped my past and continues to shape my future, spiritually inspiring me to continue to strive in reaching my potential goals in life.
here is another essay that i wrote that i was wondering if needs some revision and correction.. the essay prompt is to write:
Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a jumping off point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.
Of the many different people, places, ideas, and forces that have influenced my life, there was prominent person that stood out above the rest. Though it took me many years to realize just how special a role this person played in my life, all that she did was not in vain, but rather meaningful and inspirational. Unfortunately, I did not realize all of this until this person was gone forever. She influenced me in so many ways that I had hardly noticed. Her name was Mrs. Lois Hirshkowitz and she was my principle for nine years.
I met my new principal in the third grade, at a private school called Lakewood Prep. Naturally, upon my first encountering with the school, I disliked it. I had not wanted to adjust to the new environment because I missed my old school and my old friends; I missed the place where I felt secure and familiar with everyone and everything. This was a feeling that was no stranger to me, and I found would stick with me even as I grew older. I had never really accommodated to change. I liked familiarity, and I liked constancy because these were things I had grown accustomed to.
I soon found that I fit right in, and that Lakewood Prep was the right school for me. As I grew older, I adapted to how openly warm and welcoming the school felt, mainly because it was under such great influence by its coordinator. Mrs. Hirshkowitz, a genuinely patient and gentle woman, was always there for anyone who sought her advice and mentoring. Because of her unconditionally supportive motivation and guidance, I was able to acquire better habits for my own personal development, not just in behavior but also in all aspects interacting with others. This included having respect for peers and elders and learning how to appreciate everyone's presence instead of secluding myself from others. I opened up when it came to participation in class, discussions with teachers, or perhaps just lending a hand to those who needed it the most.
By my last year at the school, Mrs. Hirshkowitz became ill and was out of school for the remainder of that year. Though I was just a freshman in high school, because of Mrs. Hirshkowitz's impact, I had learned a lot about life and how should live it. I learned to appreciate and embrace all of what my teachers had to offer and accept consistent support from students who became valuable friends. I realized that it had not only been a school that our principal had founded, but a home built that consisted of one big family, which would continue to flourish with victory and love. I am eternally grateful to have met an astonishing person with such great ambitions in life, devoted to others' happiness. Mrs. Hirshkowitz has helped shaped my past and continues to shape my future, spiritually inspiring me to continue to strive in reaching my potential goals in life.