Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


Music help me to be who i am



mjhito 2 / 1  
Jan 5, 2015   #1
can you give me you opinion and correct the grammar? thank you
Prompt:Discuss a piece of writing, music, film or other creative work that has influenced the person you are today.

Every time we listen to the radio we heard songs that talk about dreams or sometimes a life that normal people could never have. Some of these songs have a catchy beat and lyrics that says something about following your dreams or something like having lot of money and cars. All these song contain lyrics that give a positive feeling. However, we know that most of these songs focus on the fantasy part of things. John Lennon is one of the few artists that I heard and like that focus on a real word. His song Imagine is different from all the songs I normally heard on the radio.

This song had a big influence in life and it kind of shaped my vision of the world. Every time I hear the song it brings back memories of the violent time my home country leave under the power of Fujimori. I remember hearing gun shots every day, and seeing the fear on my grandparents' faces every time my uncle went to work. They did not know if he was going to come back or not. When I think of the lyrics of the song I think how truth the lyrics are. If people were not so obsess with power a dictator would have never take my country and so many people would not have die. Hearing the song make me understand that no everything is good, but it also gives the hope that we can change.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Jan 5, 2015   #2
This is a good response to the prompt. It does have a number of grammatical errors though. I have taken the opportunity to point it out and correct it below.

John Lennon is one of the few artists that I heard and like that focus on a real word . His song Imagine is different from all the songs I normally heardon the radio.

- ... that I heard and liked because of he focuses his songs on the real world .

This song had a big influence in life and it kind of shaped my vision of the world. Every time I hear the song it brings back memories of the violent time my home country leave under the power of Fujimori.

- ... in my life... my home country lived under the ...

When I think of the lyrics of the song I think how truth the lyrics are

- ... the song I realize how true the lyrics are

If people were not soobsess with power a dictator would have never take my country and so many people would not have die .

- ... not so obsessed with power... would never have taken my country... people not have died .


Home / Undergraduate / Music help me to be who i am
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳