"my neighbor Victor" - write an essay on someone thats impacted your life and why

critique plz! took me a while to write this essay this is probly the best ive ever written what do yall think?

Life is a long journey, the choices we make will end up having a great impact
on our future as individuals and the people we meet through that road will have
the same effect as the choices we made.They will influence us whether it be
good or bad.People will come and go but the ones that stay, well they stay and
help you mold your life into the perfect sculpture of art.We run into these
people and they change our views on life for the better,they care for
us,cherish us,protect us and above all love us as their own brother or sister.

Ive known my neighbor Victor for almost all my life, he is my childhood
friend,my best friend,and my older brother.I consider him a part of my family,
he has been there for me almost all my life.Only a couple of houses down
from mine but it seems as if he's always been living in mine.Whether it was
schoolwork,heartbreaks or divorce between my parents he taught me how to get through the hard times of life and escape.

victor was my role model everything he did i wanted to do he was
like an older brother to me.He was the middle child out of 5 and his family
had gone through many problems during our childhood because he didnt come from
a very structured household,every single day we would round up the kids in the
neighborhood after school and have soccer games till sunset.Victor never did
wanna go back home though he would always have an excuse to keep on playing, even
when he was tired going home wasn't an option.He was the leader in our group
while growing up and we all respected him for who he was.His family went through alot but he was always in a positive attitude and he would never let anyone bring down his spirit no matter what and i admired that of him.

He passed this trait on to me as we grew up going through hard times with your
family was always and is still hard.Death comes and your loved ones are taken
from you sometimes people so dear to you get very ill and you cant help but
think that things are just at their worst nevertheless laughter and joy can get
you through the hardest of times whether it be death,heartbreaks,financial
problems,etc.This is what victor showed me at such an early age how to be a
pessimistic person and always see the light in day even if its just a speckle
because eventually that speckle will come to illuminate every corner of ur
heart when filled in darkness.

Life is a long journey. The choices we make will end up having a great impact
on our future as individuals and the people we meet through that road will have
the same effect as the choices we made.They will influence us whether it be
good or bad.People will come and go, but the ones that stay, well they stay and help you mold your life into the perfect sculpture of art.We run into these

people and theywho change our views on life for the better. T hey care for us,cherish us,protect us and above all love us as their own brother or sister .

I' ve known my neighbor Victor for almost all my life. H e is my childhood friend,my best friend,and my older brother.I consider him as part of my family because he has been there for me almost all my life. He livesonly a couple of houses down

from mine, but it seems as if he has always been living in mine.Whether it was
schoolwork,heartbreaks or divorce between my parents he taught me how to get through the hard times of life and escape. (You deal with your problems not run away, right ^.^?)

V ictor was my role model. E verything he did I wanted to do. he was
like an older brother to me. (You've already said this quite a few times, and it was a cliche term to begin with haha) He was the middle child out of 5 and his family

had gone through many problems during our childhood because he didnt come from
a very structured household,every single day we would round up the kids (which kids?) in the
neighborhood after school and have soccer games till sunset.Victor never did
wanna (wut?) go back home; though he would always have an excuse to keep on playing, even
when he was tired going home wasn't an option (Said this by talking about his excuses).He was the leader in our group
while growing up, and we all respected him for who he was.His family went through alot, but he was always in a positive attitude and he would never let anyone bring down his spirit. I admired him for that.no matter what and i admired that of him.

He passed on this trait to me as we grew up together. Family issues are, and always will be, difficult for everyone. Death comes and takes your loved ones. Sometimes it comes in the form of illness, and you can't help but think that things will never be okay again. But he (victor?) taught me that laughter and joy can help you survive those trying times. He showed me how to be optimistic (pessimistic is the exact opposite) and see the light even in the bleakest of nights, even if its just a speckle. Eventually that speckle will grow to illuminate every corner of your heart when you thought it was filled with darkness.

Hope this helps. I tried correcting the last paragraph, but I decided that just rewriting it might be better.

thx alot i really appreciate your help

This kind of sentence is not a strong start:
Life is a long journey, the choices we make will end up having a great impact
on our future as individuals and the people we meet through that road will have
the same effect as the choices we made.They will influence us whether it be
good or bad. ---These are truisms, obvious ideas, ideas, people already know all about. It makes the intro boring.

This is where it gets very interesting!!!----->People will come and go, but the ones that stay -- well, t hey stay and help you mold your life into the perfect sculpture of art.

:-)