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New Personal Statement [transfer], University of Washington Seattle



anella /  
Apr 21, 2009   #1
University of Washington Seattle
Anella Mujezinovic
I plopped down on the chair anxiously waiting for my advisor to enter the door with a disdain look on her face. This was the sixth time I entered her office along with a grueling two hour session that tested my ambitions and career goal. She walked in rather cold and sat down with my folder, which was filled with major declaration forms. Before I even got a chance to speak, she said, "Anella, I thought we already figured out your major?" I was embarrassed, my face felt hot, and at the same time I was trying to organize my thoughts. "I have to try a little bit of everything before I commit to a lifelong career. Four years of college does not give me enough time" I said. She started to tap her fingers on the desk and exclaimed, "There must be something you enjoy or enjoyed at one point in your life!" This response triggered a flashback to my high school years. During high school, I was in the newspaper club for three years and proudly honored the managing and photo editor. I stayed late evenings at school perfecting the layout, photos, and story. Senior year, I took a journalism class that tested my writing skills. All along I had experience in communications yet in college I was contemplating my major? I gathered my thing, thanked her, and hurried to the door. I was fumbling through my purse looking for my DePaul id card to get into the library. Thinking to myself, I could not believe that the first two years of college I did not know what I wanted to major in. I devoted three years in high school to writing and communicating with students!

I sat down at the library and started to organize my thoughts, which I did not do before. After an hour, I compiled a list of potential careers that all related back to communication. At that moment, I knew that that would be my last visit to the advisor's office. I narrowed my area of study down to communications; however, I was still uncertain of my major. Spring registrations were around the quarter, and I enrolled in two communication classes: Intercultural Communication and Performance of Literature. In my intercultural communication class, I was tested on my intercultural competence, which I excelled. I started to work harder, and I found myself looking forward to my classes. At that very moment, I knew that my passion lies in communication, in specific International Communication.

I went on Depaul's website in hopes of finding an interesting communication major. I looked up Advertising and Public Relations, and I knew I wanted to work with people face-to-face. However, I was hesitant with the limited communication concentrations. I began to research other universities that had a major that was tailored to my interest, International Communication. University of Washington provides a major that is quintessential to what I had in mind. Through University of Washington, I will be able to apply my previous experience in communication along with gaining knowledge in the international communication field.

In addition, in the beginning of April, I accepted a Public Relation internship with "The Legal Balance." While it required a lot of work, coffee, and long nights; I learned that communicating with others and implementing my creativity is not only rewarding but exhilarating. Within weeks, I was appointed the Contact Manager, and I tackled various projects from making flyers to putting together a testimonial. This internship verified my passion in communications; however, I did not want to limit myself to working in United States. I want to work internationally and test my intercultural competence. After I graduate, I plan on going to graduate school to achieve proficiency in the field of international studies. I believe that University of Washington will not only become an asset to my career goals, but I will be well prepared once I enter the workforce.

Since I was the managing editor in high school, I wanted to make a statement that despite the fact my native language is not English; I was still able to write and communicate. Freshman year, I was told that my writing was poor and that I should step down to Academic English. I remembered that day, September 20, 2003. That day not only motivated me to prove otherwise, it also reminded me that I had come a long way. In sixth grade, I was told that I had to attend school in Brodarevo, Serbia. The following week, I boarded the flight thinking it would be the last time I would see Chicago. That year was the toughest year of my life: academically, emotionally, and mentally. I was academically three years behind everyone else, lacking knowledge in the Cyrillic and Latin alphabet, and oblivious to the Slavic customs. However, I made it through the first year and was ecstatic to find out that Chicago will be my official destination. Little did I know that the challenges in Serbia would outweigh the challenges I was about to experience in Chicago.

I was perplexed when it came to my identity, upset that my English grammar declined, and had an accent I fought so hard to diminish. I kept thinking to myself, "I did not work so hard in United States to end up in a small town in Serbia! Now back to square one!" I was overwhelmed, exhausted and everything appeared miniscule

SairaTasartir 5 / 36  
Apr 22, 2009   #2
Hi Anella,

You have a good narrative, and an interesting one. The area that could use most improvement is grammar/usage and mechanics. Pop this sucker into a Microsoft Word file (or anything that has a spell/grammar check), correct anything that it underlines in green, and then re-post. That should clear up some of the more basic errors and make it easier for us to assist you.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Apr 22, 2009   #3
I plopped down on the chair anxiously waiting for my advisor to enter the door with a disdain look on her face. Can you end this sentence differently? It is not quite right...

...flashback to my high school years.Right here, start a new paragraph.

In addition, in the beginning of April, I accepted a Public Relation internship with "The Legal Balance." With a lot of work, coffee, and long nights I learned that communicating with others and implementing my creativity is not only rewarding but exhilarating. Within weeks, I earned and was appointed to the position of Contact Manager, and I tackled various projects from making flyers to putting together a testimonial.

Make those changes and I think it will be better! It is an impressive essay already.
OP anella /  
Apr 22, 2009   #4
Thank you so much! I will go back and look through it.


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