"And the new Vice President is..." - COMMON APP PARAGRAPH

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below max (1000 characters):

This is what I wrote (955 characters):

"And the new Vice President is..." I looked around, closed my eyes, and crossed my fingers. Four years prior, I was looking for something that I could participate in after school. I thought of joining Interact Club, however my friends did not approve. They tried to convince me not to join and had said it would be a waste of time. Contrary to what they thought I should do, I joined the beginning of my freshmen year. I was surprised to find Interact Club was nothing as they had portrayed. From organizing the schools blood drive to collecting coats and canned goods for people who need it most, everything that was done was for the benefit of others. One of the greatest honors I received in Interact was the moment I heard my own name called aloud for the Vice President position. I first joined Interact to simply have something productive to but I soon discovered a passion for helping others and I'm grateful for what we have accomplished for others.

Any grammatical errors? Any other way to spice it up or anything I should add? please help

You may want to double check that these are needed changes, but this is what I have found.
"I joined the beginning of my freshmen year." Put "at" before the beginning.
"nothing as they had portrayed" They being your friends or the club advertisers?
"canned goods for people who need it most" Need should be needed.
" was the moment I heard my own name" should be "moment that I heard my own"
"something productive to but I soon discovered a" I think that you forgot a word

Nice essay and the content is fine..
I don't get why didn't end the essay by returning to the narrative of the scene at the club meeting where your name was called out for vice-president; this just makes sense as u began with a scene from the meeting...anyways i liked how u portrayed yourself as someone who didn't give in to peer pressure and was able to decide for himself...I just feel as though u cud write a bit more as to how your work in the club affected u or helped u improve in various areas...GOOD LUCK AND GOOD JOB

Please Look Over My Amherst Supplement

Thanks Jsturm31
and
Maroon5, I would love to write more but that stupid character limit is killing me. I'm working on it though!

Hey! Just something that I saw-


maybe?


Overall, great :)