Hello, i need suggestions as to how i can make my essay better! I am open to any opinions & criticism is welcome! THANK YOU!
PROMT #2:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
There I was in the middle of it all; bright lights that illuminated the sky almost like a thick blanket covering the stars, forests of buildings that towered over me, and millions of people walking quickly in every direction comparable to ants after disturbing their anthill. I was 2654 miles away from the lifeless desert town that a called home and in the center of America's Mecca captivated by it all. I was in New York City.
Months ago I was invited by the Universal Cheer Association to perform in the 85th annual Macy's Thanksgiving Parade in New York City. Although I was excited it didn't register until I awoke to the sound of the flight attendant saying we were about to descend into the JFK airport. I looked out the window and saw nothing but buildings protruding from the earth and into the sky. It was unlike anything I ever seen. After hours of daily rehearsal we were able to explore the city; I walked the overflowing streets of Times Square, got off on the wrong stop on the subway - more than once, and experimented on peculiar food served my street vendors.
On the day of the parade people filled every available space in the streets and sidewalks just to get a view. When we chanted out cheers saying, "We love N-Y-C." the crowed became electrified and chanted the words with us. As I looked into the crowds I took notice that everyone was all so different. Where I am from eighty percent of the town is Hispanic so everyone looked similar. However, in New York there were Indians, Asians, Black and White and everything in between. They all looked so different and yet they were all so similar, they all had depth and substance, which was unlike the type of people I was used to.
My week in New York was like my great awakening. As I looked one last time out the window of the plane it dawned on me that the short time I spent in the surreal city changed me completely. I am now more opened to try new things and if I accidently take a detour, like I did in the subways, I just need to make the best of it.
*******also, any ideas on a title?
PROMT #2:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
There I was in the middle of it all; bright lights that illuminated the sky almost like a thick blanket covering the stars, forests of buildings that towered over me, and millions of people walking quickly in every direction comparable to ants after disturbing their anthill. I was 2654 miles away from the lifeless desert town that a called home and in the center of America's Mecca captivated by it all. I was in New York City.
Months ago I was invited by the Universal Cheer Association to perform in the 85th annual Macy's Thanksgiving Parade in New York City. Although I was excited it didn't register until I awoke to the sound of the flight attendant saying we were about to descend into the JFK airport. I looked out the window and saw nothing but buildings protruding from the earth and into the sky. It was unlike anything I ever seen. After hours of daily rehearsal we were able to explore the city; I walked the overflowing streets of Times Square, got off on the wrong stop on the subway - more than once, and experimented on peculiar food served my street vendors.
On the day of the parade people filled every available space in the streets and sidewalks just to get a view. When we chanted out cheers saying, "We love N-Y-C." the crowed became electrified and chanted the words with us. As I looked into the crowds I took notice that everyone was all so different. Where I am from eighty percent of the town is Hispanic so everyone looked similar. However, in New York there were Indians, Asians, Black and White and everything in between. They all looked so different and yet they were all so similar, they all had depth and substance, which was unlike the type of people I was used to.
My week in New York was like my great awakening. As I looked one last time out the window of the plane it dawned on me that the short time I spent in the surreal city changed me completely. I am now more opened to try new things and if I accidently take a detour, like I did in the subways, I just need to make the best of it.
*******also, any ideas on a title?