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No other place like New York City; NYU Supplemental: Why NYU New York

ayu0006 8 / 17 2  
Dec 29, 2012   #1
Tell us why you have chosen the above campus (using a maximum of 700 characters-spaces and punctuation included).
There is simply no other place like New York City. It is the center of it all, where careers are built, cultures clash; all bustling with life. This sense of freedom; campus life in NYU New York does not restrict us to a certain location but is rather scattered among Manhattan. Libraries brimming with seas of books, streets vibrant with activity, store bells chiming at the sound of an arrival. This embodies the synergy of college experience and the real world, a launching point for the many facets of an everyday career. With that, doors are open. I boot open the transparent glass door and stride into the vast laboratory. My colleague, "Ready for another day at the lab, Mr. Yu?"

I previously posted a thread in 2 in the morning listing all 3 parts of the nyu supplemental but decided at the last minute that it was too overwhelming so here is one part of it. =)
abulkhair37 8 / 22  
Dec 29, 2012   #2
I like how you describe the setting of NYC as it is one of the major factors of NYU, however I think it would be better to include why you are specifically applying to NYU, I mean to be in the center of the world you could have applied to Columbia, LIU, all the CUNYS, St. Johns' and etc.
Proran 4 / 17 5  
Dec 29, 2012   #3
Love the description and the ending. Something feels missing but I can't put my finger on it. I think it's the lack of transition between your future lab dream, and the description without warning.

Work on that part and its good.
alicederp 10 / 56 4  
Dec 29, 2012   #4
Ooo I really like the last part! Definitely would set you apart from the other answers to this prompt.

One thing though, you used "this" two times as a sentence starter. Not a big deal but with a response this short, you may want to vary the sentence structure.

It would be greatly appreciated if you offered any suggestions or comments to either my common app essay or carnegie mellon supplement.
OP ayu0006 8 / 17 2  
Dec 29, 2012   #5
yas definitely! i will respond to your requests. let me gather myself first,. :-)
mayfl0wer 6 / 48  
Dec 29, 2012   #6
I LOVE the last sentence, although it was a bit abrupt.

The imagery is great and I know the character limit is terrible, but try to be a LITTLE bit more specific in your description of New York City. If I replace certain NYC with Tokyo in some sentences, it would still make sense.

Otherwise, excellent! : )
lkaradsheh 1 / 8 2  
Dec 30, 2012   #7
LOVE IT!! Please help me with mine I would really appreciate constructive criticism :)
ahiasat1 3 / 6 1  
Dec 30, 2012   #8
Great answer... I didnt answer the question this good!! Good luck, hope you get accepted

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