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Why Northwestern? My first impression



taman121 2 / 2  
Dec 29, 2011   #1
Hey guys, could you please look over this essay? :) I would be much obliged.

My first impression of Northwestern University came from the excellent architecture and greenery. I took a Center for Talent Development Calculus I class which required me to walk everyday from Elder Hall to Fisk Hall. Walking underneath the arch and through the green gardens, I felt a sense of serenity. On the way towards the class, I could see children playing on the beach of Lake Michigan. As soon as the bell rang after class, I would run across and play in the sand with my friends. The school provides various activities for the students to participate, as well as open grounds to explore. From my experience at Northwestern, I knew that it would be the perfect college for a student yearning for exploration.

Through my three weeks there, I saw that the faculty at Northwestern is extremely benevolent towards its students and non-university members. During a rainstorm, my friends and I foolishly decided to run to our class. We entered the Tech Building after running from Elder Hall. The janitor not only cleaned up our wet mess, but also brought us towels and escorted us to a small cafeteria. We waited in the building for 45 minutes and none of the faculty and students complained of our intrusion. To this day, I can remember the kindness of the Northwestern faculty.

Walking through the Tech Building, I was inspired to attend classes there. Since I was a child, I tinkered with toys because I wanted to become an engineer. I saw the mechanical equipment in the basement and was given a tour from a graduate student, further piquing my interest and motivation towards my goal of becoming an engineer. The up-to-date facilities at the McCormick School of Engineering have created amazing engineers. These facilities do not solely focus on lectures and tests, but also on practical applications which are immensely useful to budding engineers. Employing the technologies in the facilities, I hope to improve the poor condition of the Skokie River and beaches. The river was polluted by the chemical factory incident earlier this decade, and the beaches have been affected by high levels of algae pollution. Together with the university and the Engineers for a Sustainable World Program (ESW), I can work to decrease the pollution with the introduction of clean energy resources. I have been a long advocate of wind power and by attending Northwestern University, I can research on how to improve the technology and use it for clean power around the world.

I would love to continue exploring the campus of Northwestern University. Through the innovative school of engineering, I plan to learn the benefits of clean energy and apply it to the Skokie River and around the world. Attending Northwestern University and meeting the kind and caring faculty will be a welcoming experience. The university can be my new home where I can fulfill my goal of becoming a knowledgeable and successful engineer.

Thanks again. :)

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Dec 29, 2011   #2
I took a Center for Talent Development Calculus I class which required me to walk every day ---two words here--- from Elder Hall to Fisk Hall.

The school provides various activities for the students to participate in , as well as open grounds to explore.

During my three weeks there, I saw that the faculty at Northwestern is extremely benevolent towards its students and non-university members.

Since I was a child, I've tinkered with toys because I wanted to become an engineer.

I have been a long time advocate of wind power, and by attending Northwestern University, I can research on how to improve the technology and use it for clean power around the world.

The university can be my new home where I'll be able to fulfill my goal of becoming a knowledgeable and successful engineer.---I changed 'can' to 'I'll be able to' because the word 'can' was there twice in the sentence and I'm too picky.

Have fun in school!

:)
theboss639 3 / 4  
Dec 29, 2011   #3
I like how you were personally acquitted with the university. That adds a lot to your essay. I would recommend rereading it for coherence because I got lost in the third paragraph. Best of luck. :)
silentspring 12 / 58  
Dec 29, 2011   #4
I have been a long advocate of wind power and by attending Northwestern University, I can research on how to improve the technology and use it for clean power around the world.

Put semi colon between "University" and "I can," not comma

"To this day, I can remember the kindness of the Northwestern faculty." delete this b/c you already showed it

Overall, nice essay!!! Good work!!
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Dec 29, 2011   #5
Aabhas, Daniel, the Boss...how many people are you? :)
mm1994 2 / 2  
Dec 31, 2011   #6
taman121

I liked how you gave a detailed narration in the beginning of your essay. I also had the same problem as theboss639 reading the third paragraph. You should write a little bit more and transition through your goals slower.


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