'notice to become a School Ambassador' - Common App EC Short Answer

Grammar and overall flow critique would be a great help! Also if anyone could look at my complete common app essay that I have on my other thread, that would be great! Thanks a lot everyone :)

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

I am a strong believer in seeing all that a school offers and as a student, passing it on to others. Therefore, as an eager 10th grader beginning high school, an interview notice to become a School Ambassador was just the sort of prospect I had been looking for. My beginning tasks as an Ambassador were mainly campus tours for prospective students and their parents. I enjoyed these tasks because I met with many hopeful middle school students, reminding me of how I was a year prior. However, the most rewarding aspect of being an Ambassador came during my 2nd year. During this year, I was promoted to team leader and led a group of fellow guides. Most importantly, I was held responsible for Q&A sessions with foreign officials from countries such as Denmark and Finland, providing information about our student life and education system. Through my work as a School Ambassador, I have grown to learn the importance of school pride and giving back to schools that give all to their students.

Hello,

Normally schools ask about an applicant's extra curricular activity to learn about their non-academic life. You have managed to make this essay about school as well. If you wish to continue to talk about serving as an School ambassador, focus this essay on what you learned. Make it interesting by focusing it on things like meeting foreign officials talk more about this and discuss a particular situation. If you make it about giving back to school, it will seem very contrived and disingenuous, no matter how sincere you are being. - AAO

Hope This Helps

Reiterating what admission2012 has said, that part of the application is a way for universities to see you outside the school setting. Many students who will be applying have academic achievements, so this is an opportunity for you set yourself apart from the other applicants. Universities are looking for students who can bring something unique to their campus. If you would like to stick to talking about your experience as a school ambassador, you could try stressing what you have learned from that experience in your essay. It also helps to show how your experience will be beneficial to the institution.

Best of luck and I hope you get accepted into the college of your choice. :)