Can you help me with this essay please
This is my topic:
This section is an opportunity for you to elaborate on the information you have provided earlier. You may wish to discuss a special talent, a personal experience or an activity that you have been involved in that is relevant to the course(s) that you are applying for admission.
As there is a space limit of 2,000 characters for your input in this section, you are encouraged to present your thoughts clearly.
Here is my essay:
Both my mom and dad are teachers at top school,my brother was a top student of a top university in Japan,born in to such a family gave my shouder a lot of high expectation.Thing always the same:top school you must be mine.
With all that expectation on my shoulder,I started to study for my enchance exam for Ha Noi-Amsterdam(Ams) highschool-top highschool in my country.First I join a private class of a teacher from Ams that train student who want to enroll in to that top highschool with a success rate of 90%.Then I keep training,keep learning,keep doing hard exercise with the beautiful dream of being accepted.And finally,that day has come.I failed,my hard work failed me.The sky seem to have fallen and the earth seem to have gone to the space.I don't even know what have I done in the following month.Later when I asks my family, they all say that I looked like a zombie back then.
But no matter how much I wanted to change the fact that I failed,what done is done,there is nothing I can do to change it.A month later,I found myself in another highschool.At first,I don't feel like study at all.But as time passed by,with my family encouragement,I finally snap out of it.I know that this isn't the end of the earth,I know that there still a bright future for me somewhere and I will reach it with all my mind and body.Once again,I keep working hard and expect a beautiful ending.
However,this time,My determination and hardworking didn't fail me.I got an honor mention medal for Physics at city level.Ironicly,when I fail,I fail miserablely,but when I success,I win big.I got in to my city's physics team and got myself another medal at national level.
To be honest,I never expect to gain that much.But through all these thing,I have learned something.Hardwork and determination will help you achive your goal,even if you fail at some point,keep working hard and you will still achive your ultimate goal.
Thanks for all your help
This is my topic:
This section is an opportunity for you to elaborate on the information you have provided earlier. You may wish to discuss a special talent, a personal experience or an activity that you have been involved in that is relevant to the course(s) that you are applying for admission.
As there is a space limit of 2,000 characters for your input in this section, you are encouraged to present your thoughts clearly.
Here is my essay:
Both my mom and dad are teachers at top school,my brother was a top student of a top university in Japan,born in to such a family gave my shouder a lot of high expectation.Thing always the same:top school you must be mine.
With all that expectation on my shoulder,I started to study for my enchance exam for Ha Noi-Amsterdam(Ams) highschool-top highschool in my country.First I join a private class of a teacher from Ams that train student who want to enroll in to that top highschool with a success rate of 90%.Then I keep training,keep learning,keep doing hard exercise with the beautiful dream of being accepted.And finally,that day has come.I failed,my hard work failed me.The sky seem to have fallen and the earth seem to have gone to the space.I don't even know what have I done in the following month.Later when I asks my family, they all say that I looked like a zombie back then.
But no matter how much I wanted to change the fact that I failed,what done is done,there is nothing I can do to change it.A month later,I found myself in another highschool.At first,I don't feel like study at all.But as time passed by,with my family encouragement,I finally snap out of it.I know that this isn't the end of the earth,I know that there still a bright future for me somewhere and I will reach it with all my mind and body.Once again,I keep working hard and expect a beautiful ending.
However,this time,My determination and hardworking didn't fail me.I got an honor mention medal for Physics at city level.Ironicly,when I fail,I fail miserablely,but when I success,I win big.I got in to my city's physics team and got myself another medal at national level.
To be honest,I never expect to gain that much.But through all these thing,I have learned something.Hardwork and determination will help you achive your goal,even if you fail at some point,keep working hard and you will still achive your ultimate goal.
Thanks for all your help
