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NUS - 'Struggling from zero'



ibejunpyu 2 / 5  
Dec 26, 2011   #1
In the following paragraphs, i express my essay to fill up the task : This section is an opportunity for you to elaborate on the information you have provided earlier. You may discuss a special talent, a personal experience or an activity that you have been involved in that is relevant to the course you are applying for admission.

As your essay is limited to only 2000 characters (including punctuations and space), do present your ideas in a focused and thoughtful manner

Please share your Comments and critics ! thank you so much

Hard work and strong determination character have brought me to find my world. Struggling from zero must be done to find some talents, such as scientific and artistic. My "free time" is abandoned for maintaining these potencies. But, these sacrifices influence toward character and achievements today. Achievement motivation and hobbies have encouraged me to struggle intently. The desperate is never felt because of this thought: "have a brave to wake from failure is the true winner". Vanishing of traditional interest in teenager thinking raises my interest in traditional dance and voice art, whereas it gives prodigious value for life. Challenges to solve the real life problem, which boost to have a comprehensive thinking, raises my interest in scientific field, such as research, essay writing, and debate. Then, my parents enrolled me in traditional dance and voice art courses since second year of elementary school. By this time, the training activities in these courses busy my everyday. Before getting to junior high school, society change from traditional to modern must be faced when moved to the city as an earthquake had ruined my home that was in a traditional village. And SMP 5 Yogya, a school that has tight competition passion was my new junior high school. And scientific interest was found in myself, until now these talents are developing well and there are some international achievements reached and brings me to step South Korea, Vietnam, Romania, and US. And in senior high school the economic skill in myself was found. There are many projects have been made, but the ideas come out from my economic skill to catch the economy phenomenon. Instead, my friends often give their trust to me for organizing something because of my capability to organize people by that skill. Until the silver medal of National Economic Olympiad has been got, proves the economic skill in myself. So, NUS as the best university in Asia will be the prosperous study place to strengthen that.

makman09 9 / 86  
Dec 26, 2011   #2
I'm guessing you're an English learner because you need to organize your essay. I can't follow what you're trying to say. I really don't have a clue what you're working on so try to focus on something specific that is significant like how you developed your scientific interest.
OP ibejunpyu 2 / 5  
Dec 26, 2011   #3
makman09
Yes, the correct answer, i'm an english learner, okey i'll try to repair my essay, thx


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