(Why NYU?) - City in a snow globe

Just a brief response.
I wanted to do something different, tell me what you think :)
Please read and leave any comments (grammar, critique, style, worthiness, etc)
Thanks~!

Why NYU?
A young woman with aspirations of the city stares lovingly down at her New York City snow globe and adds it to her bin of collectables. In her bin reside three language books (Spanish, Italian and Korean) and a newly added NYC snow globe. That bin is my bin, where I can express myself and where I can keep my dreams close. A dream bin is what I call it. In my many years of collecting these items, I have always desired to attend NYU and study languages where I can meet others from different walks of life. Thus it has inspired me to apply here. Studying abroad and approaching a language head on is something that I have always wanted to do ever since my Aunt expressed to me how intriguing and fun it was. Since, NYU is known for challenging its students, I find this aspect of the university to be really captivating since most universities don't really require it or even have it. NYC has been my snow globe forever where I want it to be my classroom from where I learn from and my language books hopefully will be the key that allows me to accomplish my dreams with NYU as my bin, I hope I can turn my dreams into a reality.

I really like your bin idea. It is very focused and I can't really pick out many grammar errors.

Thus, it has inspired me to apply here. you can delete this

the last sentence " With NYC as my classroom, my language books as the goals I wish to become fluent in and NYU as my dream bin-which holds my future, I hope I can turn my dreams into a reality." is kind of long. Consider breaking it up. That's all

Can you please tell me if this is grammatically correct? "I regretted knowing Union so late in my senior year, but in the meantime I am thankful for my chance knowing about it."

Thanks SS, for critiquing my supplement essay.

Yup, it looks good to me, expect I would use: "I regretted knowing about Union so late in my senior year, but in the meantime * I am thankful for my chance of knowing about it [sooner/now].

If you need an explanation or more help please reply again~ :)

Your last sentence is rly awkward. id consider revising that.

Overall, i liked your essay. The dream-bin thing was a nice touch and will make your essay stand out from others.
best of luck on NYU! i applied there too :o

Anyways, if you have the time, read my stony brook essay. id rly appreciate it. thx!

Thus, it has inspired me to apply here.I don't think this sentence is that necessary Studying abroad and approaching a language head on is something that I have wanted to do ever since my aunt expressed to me how intriguing and fun it was. Since NYU has a broad language program, I find this aspect of the college to be really captivating; most universities don't really harness linguistics or even have it. I like this! With NYC as my classroom, my language books as the goals I wish to become fluent inmy books as my goals (since the language books are the only books you talk about, I think it will be clear enough), and NYU as my dream bin-which holds my futuretry: NYU as my future , I hope I can turn my dreams into a realitythe dreams in my dream bin into reality .

I think you essay is really sincere and I like how focused it is! It doesn't get too confusing or scattered. There were just a few grammatical errors and I found and I had a few other suggestions. Good luck on your app and I would be glad if you could look at my common app too! thanks

Thank you everyone, for your suggestions!
I plan to submit my paper later on today, your essays should be critiqued in another a hour or so, I have to finish the other questions to the application.