NYU Supplements: "Global Health", "Why NYC" & "Alice in Wonderland"

Is there any details I can add/subtract?

Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or experiences that demonstrate your interest.

Through the experience of working for 14 months at a shelter and Health Center for Latino immigrants in Texas, I gained a strong desire to work towards a solution for better health care for the world. At the Gallatin School of Individualized Study I would create a concentration combining Public Health with International Development and Politics, as I am drawn to the idea of studying how the environment, culture and politics of a country or region affects the development and health of its people. 500 characters

NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?

Growing up in a multi-national intentional community, I loved learning about different cultures and languages, and the passion remained as I traveled in the US and Europe since graduating high school 4 years ago. There is no better place to study than NYU, a global university in a pulsating city, which encompasses everything I have learned on my travels and where I can continue to build on my experiences, in the classroom and from the diversity of the opportunities and people that surround NYU. 499 characters

If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.

Alice, from Tim Burton's 2010 film "Alice in Wonderland" has influenced me to remain true to myself. We'd sit in the rose gardens in Regent's Park, my favorite place when I lived in London and similar to where she'd have seen the White Rabbit. I'd discuss with her how I, like her, sometimes feel like I have lost my "muchness", that life is sometimes like a journey through Wonderland to discover myself and my own voice so that I can have the courage to fight the Jabberwockys that cross my path. 498 characters

Growing up in a multi-national intentional These two are redundant so you can use either one of them community, I loved learning about different cultures and languages, and the passion remained as I traveled in the US and Europe since graduating high school 4 years ago. There is no better place to study than NYU, a global university in a pulsating city, which encompasses everything I have learned on my travels and where I can continue to build on my experiences, in the classroom and from the diversity of the opportunities and people that surround NYU.This sentence is way too long. Break it up.

you did not directly answer what the concept means to you...you should change your answer to let the reader know what you think about the concept itself..other than that all your answers are pretty awesome...

good luck with nyu..I'm applying there too...:)

ha ha I had a feeling I was a little off track with that one.
Please tell me if I'm being redundant!
Here's the revision of Essay #2:

NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?

Broad-minded, multicultural, a chance to learn about other cultures through in depth study and first hand experience; NYU offers a quality education and experience like few other schools. The advantages of studying in the diverse city of New York are endless, as most international issues and cultures seem to diverge there. Becoming a global citizen is more important than ever and I look forward to the learning and personal growth as I explore all the opportunities that are presented to me. 496 characters

Very nice, very nice. One thing. At the end of the first sentence, first hand experience of what?

a chance to learn about other cultures through first hand experience and in depth study
OR


a chance to learn about other cultures from first hand and personal experience

Which one is better for the 1st sentence?

The first one sounds better to me, like it just flows better.

I like this one, and I will add a hyphen:

a chance to learn about other cultures through first hand experience and in-depth study