Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 4


NYU Sups. Why Business, Jackie CHEN!, and summer.



qomoco 24 / 104  
Dec 31, 2009   #1
Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

Education is not really necessary. I have always known this, but nevertheless, I pursued education. My dad was the one who taught me both. He, as someone never learned how to write his name, became a successful businessman and brought me to America. It was that moment I wanted to be a successful businessman just like him. Though, he is a living example one can succeed without education, we both agree Stern School of Business provides the education I need to succeed but to surpass him.

If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do? (Your New Yorker can be anyone -past or present, fictional or nonfictional - who is commonly associated with New York City; they do not necessarily have to have been born and raised in New York.)

Hey Jackie. Yes, it's that Jackie, Jackie Chen. Perhaps the most well known Chinese in western culture. We wouldn't do anything fun, because we would be running away from a bunch of fans. Besides that, I would like him to introduce me to as much famous people as possible in one day, get a business card of everyone. Why? Because I will need it when I graduate. While Stern School will prepare me for business, a strong social network helps. This is something you don't have to learn in a classroom.

My ideas changed completely, so anyone know how is the New Yorker has the most powerful social network?
What did you do this summer?

I took Calculus II at a community college and worked at a restaurant. I also took and pass the IL Food Service Sanitation Manager Certification class. Other than these, I got a chance to learn golf and tennis from the salesman of Golden Food Company. Also, a sushi chef from a nearby Japanese restaurant taught me how to fish.

saygoodbyevince 1 / 6  
Dec 31, 2009   #2
This might be dumb, but I thought his name was Jackie Chan? Or are you referring to someone else? That confused me a little.

Overall, everything is well written. The first and the third reponses are a little boring to read though, and the second is a little too informal in my opinion. I would try to liven it up without sounding improfessional.

To start off the "Why NYU" response by saying that education isn't necessary kind of defeats the point of applying to NYU. If you don't need an education, why pursue it? It just doesn't really make sense.

The summer response is just a bunch of statements thrown together, so maybe focus on one particular thing you did? I'm not really sure how to fix it, but it needs something.

Sorry that this was so harsh! I would appreciate it if you looked at my essays!! Thanks!
OP qomoco 24 / 104  
Dec 31, 2009   #3
saygoodbyevince
thanks, but you aren't harsh enough! lol

Chan and Chen is the same word in Chinese. I guess I should have used Chan.

anyway, I was sayiny, as in my dad's case, education isnot neccessary. BUT I'm sure it would helped him a lot if he had education.

and I was trying to catch reader's attention... guess that /failed...

about the summer,

Does NYU only wants to know one thing I did and then explain it? or they want a list of things I did...
tsungyuwu 3 / 10  
Jan 1, 2010   #4
Hi,

I think they are all great. But I think education is neccessary. I think you should change to higher education. Otherwise, good work!

Can someone look at my essay? I need to submit today.
"Need major help on Davidson honor code short essay, please? :)"


Home / Undergraduate / NYU Sups. Why Business, Jackie CHEN!, and summer.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳